When a couple gets engaged and embarks on their journey toward marriage, premarital counseling can play an important role. Premarital counseling opens lines of communication regarding important issues that can, ultimately, make or break a marriage.
Most love-struck couples cannot imagine disagreements arising from these topics. It is, however, worthwhile to lay the groundwork for coming back to what was discussed at the start of marriage, when conflict rears its head.
The reality is that life on this side of heaven is not perfect. Two sinners joined together in holy matrimony will need to be able to see one another’s point of view, and be able to compromise on certain things over the course of their marriage.
4 Common Topics Considered in Premarital Counseling
Premarital counselors are skilled in guiding conversation on the following topics:
1. Finances
As unromantic as it may sound, a couple’s way of handling finances is one of the most foundational elements of building a strong marriage and life together. Conflict about money including how to spend it and how to save it can wreak havoc on marital happiness. This is why it is good to discuss money matters during premarital counseling.
Questions such as how much each partner is bringing into the marriage, how a budget will be devised, who will be responsible for various parts of executing the budget, and how both partners envision their financial future, will open up the topic for deeper discussion.
In a Christian marriage, it is important to remember that God is responsible for all material provision, and wise stewardship of the resources He gives is a biblical mandate.
2. Family Matters
While two people may seem similar in terms of their culture and upbringing, the reality is that every person grew up with a unique family dynamic. This plays significantly into how one views marriage and how they think life should be.
Premarital counseling can help couples discuss their backgrounds and what was valued in their family of origin. It is also valuable to assess whether you and your partner are on the same page about critical decisions such as whether or not to have children, and how you view the role of extended family in your life together.
3. Communication and Conflict
If conflict in marriage is a given, then communication and how you resolve that conflict is worth discussing during premarital counseling. Once again, one’s family of origin plays a key role here.
Did you grow up with parents who had screaming matches, or was conflict avoided at all costs? Take time to think through a plan for how you and your future spouse will navigate the issues that can divide a couple if left unresolved.
4. Spiritual Life
The Bible makes it clear that believers should not marry non-believers. If a couple is not united in their view of God, premarital counseling is a good time to delve into how important this is to each person, and how it will affect married life.
For Christians, it is about engaging in the meaning of marriage, which God has essentially created as a picture of Christ’s love for the church, further providing a place for companionship and the family unit.
Next Steps
Premarital counseling is important for every couple, regardless of how prepared they might feel going into marriage. It can open windows and doors into a future mate’s perspective on life, and equip each person for building a strong, Christ-centered marriage. Contact us at Grapevine Christian Counseling in Texas today to begin this next phase of your journey.
“Engagement Ring”, Courtesy of Alekon pictures, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Engagement”, Courtesy of Andre Jackson, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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