Care, Cope, Counsel: Navigating Grief

Contrary to the popular saying, time does not heal all wounds. What we do with the passage of our days and years is actually what bears the most significant impact on our mental, emotional, and spiritual state. Such is the case when we are navigating the experience of grief. While we often define it in the context of death, grief itself encompasses the emotional anguish we experience following loss of any sort.

Death is one of the experiences that we cannot escape in life. When we experience a loss of life, we encounter a range of different emotions. In response, we can feel stunned and bewildered, angry or incredulous.

Navigating grief can be uncomfortable and unsettling. Having a roadmap to acquaint ourselves with grief’s stages can help us to better understand the mystery of our thoughts and emotions.

Whether the loss is sudden or we expected a loved one to pass away, every loss is different. Our response will not be the same as another person’s, as grief is an experience that impacts human beings differently.

The differences don’t only surface between experiences, but also within ourselves. We may grieve various losses differently than how we previously processed the loss of friends and family. It is important to acknowledge that fact and receive grace to absorb the present reality.

In whatever stage of grief we find ourselves in, we can be reminded that the Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He is present in times of sorrow, to console us and bottle our tears. He is our peace and strength, even as we hurt and heal.

Navigating grief involves various stages. We don’t necessarily advance from one stage to another linearly and we may even experience some phases simultaneously or in a different order.

As one might imagine, when we encounter the initial news, we may be faced with disbelief, entering the denial stage. We wrestle with the reality of our loved one no longer being present, which doesn’t always result in immediate sadness, but we may still dial their phone number or go to the familiar places where we were accustomed to seeing them.

This can cause the reality of their passing to wash over us again, causing distress. The shock of this can produce the next stage in which we encounter anger. This can be directed toward the circumstances or even people, including oneself, others, the deceased him or herself, and even God.

As we advance through the progression of grief, the bargaining stage is typically where we grapple with a resolution, trying to find a way to explain, trade, or negotiate our mortality or experience of trauma associated with the loss.

Often, the depression stage follows, which is where we characterize the deep sadness, loneliness, and regret associated with death, grief, and loss. Despair and suicidal thoughts may present, influencing us to feel that we no longer want to be around. Sensitivity and compassion will help us and others navigate these moments with care, community, and counsel.

We may experience feelings of guilt about emotionally detaching from the darkness and pain, as we enter the acceptance stage. During this time, we may resign ourselves to experience resolution and newness, yet still embrace memories and experiences.

Whether we or others in our circle are enduring overlap between the various stages of grief, it is essential to be patient as we heal and grow. We may experience the stages of grief again at a time when we feel that we should be past grieving.

We may encounter the experience of loss in a different sequence and feel waves of anger or denial again, though we may have been in the bargaining or acceptance stage for some time.

God knew that we would encounter this before we did. Through the presence of His Spirit of grace, we embrace the permission to feel what we feel and present it back to Him as we process.

Next steps for navigating grief

Although the passing of time doesn’t necessarily heal the wound of loss, God can handle the worst of what you have endured. Although you may find yourself triggered by the trauma of death and loss at odd moments, you don’t have to do it alone. Even here, seek the Lord’s comfort and ask Him to direct you to a life-giving community.

Having the right kind of support provides a safe space to express what’s inside. Seek a counselor on this site, schedule and meet to find coping, counsel, and the care you need as you process your grief.