Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Relationships can run the gamut from beautiful and fulfilling to traumatic and life-altering. It’s not always easy to know when to walk away from a relationship; perhaps this is just a bad season and good times are just around the corner. Or, given time and some elbow grease, things could turn around. These and many other thoughts could accompany the conviction to hang in there for another day or another year and put off the contemplation of divorce.

The life and the story of any marriage is a unique one, and it can be difficult to walk others through the intricacies of each decision and action that has led you to the point of seeking a divorce. Ending a relationship, much less a marriage, is a step that ought to be undertaken thoughtfully; at least with as much thought as what you applied to enter the relationship to begin with.

This article will attempt to highlight some considerations to make before stepping toward divorce.

Implications and reasons for divorce

There are many reasons why a person could decide to get divorced. Some of the main reasons why people get divorced include issues as diverse as infidelity, conflict over money, a lack of commitment, domestic violence and other forms of abuse, differences over roles and division of labor in the family, incompatible or conflicting parenting styles, lack of family support, emotional neglect, and religious and cultural differences, to name a few.

These reasons may just be words on a page for some, but for the person who has lived through those conflicts, the emotional abandonment, or financial strain, they may be reminders of a dark and painful time that’s probably best forgotten. Whatever else it might be, the thought of getting a divorce might feel like getting a reprieve from hardship and pain. There are, nonetheless, several serious considerations to make before heading toward Christian divorce.

Divorce formally ends a marriage and alters the configuration of a family with the spouses staying apart and sharing custody of the children. Divorce has legal, financial, and relational implications which need to be considered.

Considerations on the path to Christian divorce

If a person is thinking about getting a divorce, there are some points to consider in this complex and sensitive topic. Making a weighty decision like marriage or divorce requires taking time to think through the implications of the decision. Some things to consider include the following:

God’s design for marriage

Marriage is a sacred covenant created by God to help humans flourish and to provide us with an analogy to understand the depth of the relationship between God and His people. The Lord intends marriage to be a lifelong union (Genesis 2:24-25; Matthew 19:4-6; Ephesians 5:31-32).

Sin and human failure

People are imperfect, and sin can lead to the breakdown of a marriage (Matthew 19:7-9; Romans 3:23). Sometimes as a result of selfishness, dishonesty, a lack of commitment, withdrawing emotionally due to wounds inflicted by others, unforgiveness, and other complex reasons that fit under the large umbrella of sin, people are unwilling to love each other in ways that promote the flourishing of their spouse.

Biblical grounds for divorce

In Scripture, the intention for marriage is a lifelong union, but there are two cases in which divorce is permitted, even though it is neither required nor always ideal.

These are in cases of physical adultery (Matthew 5:31-32) or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Outside of these two specific situations, the Bible forbids divorce.

Forgiveness and reconciliation

Believers are called to forgive one another and seek reconciliation with one another (Matthew 18:21-35; Ephesians 4:31-32), but this may not always be possible.

Healing and restoration

God can bring healing and restoration to marriages that seem impossible to repair because the issues seem intractable. What is impossible with people is possible with God (Luke 18:27).

Seeking guidance

Believers should pray and seek guidance from Scripture, and wise counsel from their church community or spiritual leaders. Not seeking counsel can be a recipe for disaster (Proverbs 15:22).

God’s grace and mercy

God’s love and grace extend to those who have experienced divorce or have otherwise fallen short of God’s holy standards (Psalm 51; 1 John 1:6-10).

Remembering God’s faithfulness

Even in divorce, God remains faithful and loving toward His people (2 Timothy 2:11-13). He is working all things for their good, and it can never be a justification for sin, “all things” even include human sinfulness (Genesis 50:20; Romans 8:28).

A Christian may be forced to contemplate divorce, and such a situation is an opportunity to seek God’s guidance, healing, and restoration. Through support from one’s church community, or Christian counseling, it’s possible to navigate this difficult time in life.

Finding support through Christian counseling

A Christian counselor in Grapevine, Texas can help you process your thoughts about your marriage and the possibility of Christian divorce, and walk with you on your journey. Contact our office at Grapevine Christian Counseling today to schedule an appointment with a therapist in Grapevine, Texas.