Codependency is a term that is used to describe a pattern of behavior connected to a dysfunctional relationship. Most of the time, signs of codependency include a person relying on another person to maintain emotional well-being. The idea of a couple who have the mindset that they cannot fathom life without each other is a romanticized plot in a movie, but it is also the description of a relationship riddled with signs of codependency.
An imbalanced exchange of emotional and mental support typically characterizes these relationships. One person feels a sense of responsibility for the other person being happy and safe. This means that the other person is often an enabler for the one that is codependent. The most common dynamic is one in which the codependent person has a narcissistic behavior pattern.
We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. – Romans 15:1, NIV
5 Common Warning Signs of Codependency in a Relationship
Enabling Behaviors
In a codependent relationship, the enabler will allow the codependent to engage in dysfunctional behaviors. This can be portrayed by giving money, making excuses, and tolerating being mistreated.
Extreme Caretaking Habits
It is common for the codependent to feel as though they need to take care of the other person by fixing all the problems. This is an unhealthy level of responsibility that often takes away from the needs of the codependent.
Controlling Behaviors
Behaviors that are seemingly controlling are often a warning sign that the relationship may be one of codependency. This behavior is often coupled with a lack of trust. Because of a fear of being abandoned, the codependent will desire a need for control in the relationship. This makes them feel as though they are in control of deflecting any hurt they may experience.
Unable to Respect Boundaries
The inability to say no or take care of themselves indicates that the codependent cannot identify with boundaries for themselves or their spouse. They may take on all the responsibilities in the relationship, thinking they are helping the other person.
Unable to Say No
Typically, codependents have a hard time saying no or expressing their needs without hesitation. They tend to be afraid of rejection and conflict. This will lead them to suppress emotions and opinions to avoid negative reactions from the other person.
How to Change the Relationship
When it comes to changing relationships, it is vital to remember that a person is only responsible for themselves. No one can change another person, so the change must start with the self. There are ways to make personal changes that can help with detaching from a codependent relationship.
Let go To detach, a person must be able to put some emotional distance between themselves and the codependent person. This also means physical space. It is not selfish to stop being overly concerned with what others are doing. This type of obsession leads to disrupted mental health.
Get to know you Another way to change the codependent relationship is for a person to get reacquainted with themself. It is helpful to take a step back and realize what is important to them. Revisiting hobbies and goals can help refocus on a balanced life.
Validate self-worth Most of the time, low self-worth is found in the signs of codependency. This means that a person needs to reevaluate how they see themselves and understand their purpose. When it comes to changing the focus of self-worth, a person needs to validate their feelings, thoughts, and emotions.
Christian Counseling for Relationships in Grapevine, Texas
Both people in the relationship must realize some issues need to be addressed. Even though it may be challenging, there is a way to recognize the signs of codependency. This will lead to making purposeful changes to create a healthy relationship. A Christian counselor in Grapevine, Texas can help with emotional support that will encourage changes toward a balanced life and relationship.
It may seem like you are in this relationship alone and that no one will understand. That is not true at all. Many people struggle with codependency in various types of relationships. The Christian counselors in Grapevine, Texas understand what codependency is and how to help you overcome the struggle. It takes time, but when you have patience and a desire to heal, you will create healthy bonds in healthy relationships.
If you or a loved one are engaged in a codependent relationship, contact our office at Texas Christian Counseling, Grapevine to meet with a local Christian counselor in Grapevine. Your counselor can help you learn how to manage and overcome the struggle with codependency.
“Snuggling”, Courtesy of Curated Lifestyle, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License
- Cyndi Kay Green: Author
Cyndi Kay Green is a freelance writer and owner of CyndiKay Media. In June 2020, she left the corporate world to become a full-time writer. She has been writing since 1996 with hopes of being able to walk in this calling that God had placed in her he...
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