3 Signs Your Loved One is a Narcissist

Narcissism is a word that many people throw around. A spouse or person often uses this word to degrade or belittle someone else. They will slap the label of narcissism on someone when they feel anyone is being too selfish or not considering their needs first. Narcissism is a complex disorder that goes beyond simple selfishness. A person who is a narcissist believes the world revolves around them.

They’re constantly building their world around them so that people and events validate their superiority. While narcissists may feel comfortable in this situation, their loved ones may feel victimized, and this type of behavior takes a toll on their relationship as the other person never gets their needs met.

Here Are Three Signs Your Loved One Is a Narcissist

Lack of Empathy

Because a narcissist is constantly concerned about what others think or feel about them, they may have a general lack of empathy. For example, you may come home and tell them all about your problems. Not only will you not get any supportive feedback from them, but you may also get narcissists to change the conversation, so the conversation is all about them.

A person with empathy supports the communicator with loving words and actions to comfort them in their time of need, whereas a narcissist lacks the comforting skills to be able to help someone in need.

A great way to help narcissists develop empathy is to ask them to serve in their community. Nothing changes a person’s attitude, like putting others first. Narcissists can see that some people have had worse problems than others and desperately need time, money, and resources. Narcissists may be able to break free of their ways and develop empathy so they can help and comfort those in need.

Constant Need for Validation

Narcissists will constantly need validation. They may shower their loved ones with compliments and elevate them, hoping their loved ones will reciprocate. If that loved one does not reciprocate, the narcissist will then gaslight, control, or manipulate them to get what they want. Narcissists often have poor self-esteem, which results in a constant need for validation.

The narcissist always needs someone to pat them on the back and say “atta boy” for even the smallest gesture. This behavior is problematic in a relationship because both parties should give themselves one hundred percent to the other.

The victim of the narcissist may receive flowers, a nice gift, or kind words from them, but it will soon become a problem if the victim does not reciprocate in a timely fashion. Narcissists gaslight them, belittle or mock them, and the cycle starts again.

Even the best spouse who constantly affirms a person’s behavior will find their actions insufficient. Narcissists centered only on themselves will find that it doesn’t matter what the person says, it will never be enough.

Lack of Boundaries

Because a narcissist is constantly concerned with how other people perceive them, they may find they overshare another person’s intimate details as a ploy to get the receiver of the information to see them in a more excellent way than the other person.

Because a narcissist has a false sense of superiority, they may hog a good conversation, break boundaries, or make themselves the center of the conversation, all to make sure that they are constantly filling that void for validation. These traits can make a relationship difficult as the person who is close to the narcissist will never get their emotional needs met.

If you believe your loved one is a narcissist, have a heart-to-heart talk with them. Express your feelings and let them know how their behavior makes you feel. Discern if that person’s behavior is merely selfish or goes beyond that. If you determine the person is a narcissist, put up appropriate boundaries to make sure your emotional and mental health is protected.

Finding Support: Christian Counseling in Grapevine

Above all, it is one thing to diagnose someone. It is quite another to get them the help they need. If you believe your loved one is a narcissist, get them professional help. Allow a therapist to help a person break through their narcissistic tendencies. Simply because a person is a narcissist doesn’t mean they can’t change.

With the proper tools and resources, a person can transform from a narcissist to someone who has incredible empathy and compassion for others. If narcissists are willing to do the work necessary to change their ways, they may find rich and fulfilling relationships with loved ones and acquaintances when they humble themselves, seek help, and access the resources they need to become compassionate, empathetic people.

Whether your loved one needs therapy or you need counseling to live with a narcissist and heal from any damage that has been done, the faith-based counselors at Texas Christian Counseling in Grapevine are here to help. Contact our office today to schedule your initial risk-free appointment.