Active listening is a listening style that allows you to communicate better with your partner. It is the process of listening carefully to what others say, repeating and reflecting on them, and remembering their judgments and advice. Actively listening makes others feel heard and respected. This is a solid foundation for successful interviews, whether at work, at home, or in a social setting.
Benefits of Active Listening
Developing the habit of active listening can have many positive effects in important areas of your life.
Relationships
Active listening in all forms of communication helps you understand and empathize with the other person’s point of view. Active listening in a relationship means recognizing that the conversation is more about your partner than it is about you. This is especially important when your partner is upset.
Being able to actively listen to a partner who is going through a difficult time is a valuable skill. This will help you avoid giving opinions and solutions when the other person needs you to listen.
At work
Active listening at work is especially important if you are in a leadership position or interact a lot with your colleagues. This helps us understand the problem and work together to develop a solution. It also demonstrates perseverance, a valuable asset in any workplace.
Social situations
Active listening skills such as reflecting, asking questions, seeking explanations, and paying attention to body language can help develop relationships when meeting new people. Active and empathetic listeners can initiate and maintain conversations.
Active listening skills can help improve communication skills, but symptoms don’t just go away if you have a social anxiety disorder. Getting professional help for anxiety can help you improve your active listening skills.
How to Encourage Active Listening
We all find ourselves in situations where the “listener” is either distracted or disinterested. There are several ways to solve this situation, such as finding a topic that interests you both. This is especially effective when discussing when you get to know each other.
Be a good example of good listening skills. Be a good listener yourself. You can listen better if you see that you are actively listening. If the other person doesn’t want to hear you, leave the conversation.
Examples of Active Listening Skills
Many active listening skills can improve your impression in a job interview.
Active listening techniques include:
- Build trust and build relationships
- show concern
- paraphrase to show understanding
- Use non-verbal signals of understanding such as nodding, eye contact, and leaning forward
- Short verbal confirmations such as “I understand,” “I understand”, “Sure”, “Thank you” or “I understand”
- Ask open-ended questions
- Ask specific questions for clarity
- Looking forward to posting your opinion
- Relate a similar experience to show understanding
By using these active listening skills, you will impress the interviewer as thoughtful, analytical, and a highly desirable candidate for the position. Think about what might happen during the interview and develop strategies so that you can actively listen.
How to Practice Active Listening
Active listening is more than just listening to others. Here are some active listening skills you can learn.
Pay attention (and show it)
Complete concentration on what is being said. Listen with all your senses and give your full attention to the speaker. Put the phone down, ignore the distraction, avoid daydreaming and turn off internal conversations.
To show that you care, look at them and pay attention to their non-verbal behavior. Use open, non-threatening body language. Avoid folding your arms. At important moments, smile, lean forward, and nod. Consciously control your facial expressions and avoid any expression that creates a negative impression. Making eye contact is especially important. In general, you should try to keep it sixty to seventy percent of the time you spend listening. reflects what is heard
Paraphrase what the other person said instead of giving advice or an opinion. For example, you can say, “In other words, you said you were upset” or “I heard you were upset about this situation.” Summarize what you hear. By mirroring what the other person is saying, they feel acknowledged and understood.
Suspension of judgment
Be neutral and non-judgmental in your responses so the person feels safe enough to continue sharing their thoughts. Make the conversation a safe zone where people trust that they won’t be put down, criticized, blamed, or otherwise negatively impacted.
Ask open-ended questions
Avoid yes or no questions; they often give blind answers. Instead, ask open-ended questions about the person to show your interest in them and encourage thoughtful, broad answers. If you want to better understand what this person is saying, please ask for clarification. But don’t get so caught up in the small details that you miss the big picture.
Be patient
Don’t interrupt the other person, fill the silence with words, finish the other person’s sentence, or put the story first (for example, “This reminds me of me…”). Again, listening is understanding, not reaction. However, do not prepare a response while the other person is still speaking; the last thing they said can change the meaning of what they’ve already said. Don’t change the subject suddenly; it creates boredom and impatience.
Examples of responses
This is usually easier to learn by reading examples. Here are some examples of statements and questions related to active listening:
Build trust and rapport: “Tell me what I can do to help.” “I’m very impressed to see how you donate 5% of every sale to charity on your website.”
Showing concern: “I’d love to help; I know you’re facing tough challenges.” “I know how difficult it is to restructure a company. What is the morale of the employees right now?”
Paraphrase: “So you’re saying that the uncertainty of who your new boss will be is putting pressure on you.” “So you think we should step up our social media marketing efforts.”
Brief verbal confirmation: “I know you want to receive more feedback on your performance.” “Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.”
Ask open-ended questions: “I can see that John’s criticism is very frustrating for you. What aspect of his criticism is most upsetting?” “Obviously, the current situation is intolerable for you. What changes would you like to see? “
Ask specific questions: “How long do you think your hiring process will take?” “What is your average turnover rate?”
Waiting for your comment to be disclosed: “Tell me more about your proposal to restructure your department.” “Can you tell me about your relationship with a former business partner?”
Revelations like, “I’m also conflicted about going back to work after my son is born.” “Over the past two years, I have been responsible for laying off some of my employees due to layoffs. While it is necessary, it will never get easier.”
Conclusion
Active listening helps build trust and understand how others feel. This in turn allows you to offer support and empathy. Unlike critical listening, active listening seeks understanding rather than answers. The goal is for the other person to be heard, validated, and inspired to solve their problems.
See skilled interviewers on talk and news shows. Study active listening skills online and practice them often in everyday conversations; pay attention to the speakers’ responses and look for areas that can be improved. Reflection shows that you understand and empathize with the other person’s feelings, and they feel heard and understood.
Active listening is an important social skill that has value in many social situations. Practice it regularly and it will become second nature. If you find these techniques difficult, consider things that might be holding you back, such as social anxiety or difficulty concentrating. If you find that you have trouble listening, you can use occupational therapy, social skills training, or people skills self-help books. Please contact our offices and talk to your counselor.
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- Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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