Trauma

Have you ever had a friend who is just always there? You know, the one who seems to have the uncanny ability to show up right when you are about to enjoy a moment alone? Maybe they text you relentlessly, invite themselves to everything, and seem genuinely baffled when you try to carve out some “me” time. Welcome to the exhausting world of the clingy companion. It’s probably not a surprise to hear that some recent studies have revealed that clinginess ranks high on the list of relationship deal-breakers. Whether due to an overwhelming need for constant attention or an all-consuming fear of rejection, clinginess can damage even the most promising connections. If you’ve ever found yourself or someone else clinging a little tightly, you know how it can erode trust and intimacy over time and can annoy the recipient. The good news is that breaking free from clingy habits is entirely possible and you can help your friend overcome their need to cling. With some self-awareness and a few personal growth strategies, they can overcome the urge to cling and build healthier, more balanced relationships. What Does it Mean to Be Clingy? Being clingy often means becoming overly attached to someone, relying on them for emotional support and constantly needing validation. Clingy behavior can manifest in different ways depending on the relationship and cultural content, but some common red flags include: Seeking constant reassurance “Do you really love me?” or “Are you sure we’re still friends?” Fear of being alone Feeling anxious when not around the person they’re attached to. Obsessive worrying Constantly fearing that people don’t like them or want to leave them. Social media stalking Monitoring someone’s activities online. Excessive communication Sending multiple texts or calls in a short time. Jealousy Feeling uneasy when their partner or friend spends time with others. Insecurities Putting [...]

None of us have any control over the situations we are born in. However, an auspicious beginning doesn’t necessarily mean a successful ending, and having challenges early on doesn’t mean things won’t turn out well. Adverse childhood experiences can have a significant impact on a child and continue to reverberate throughout their life. Healing and hope can be found, and the negative effects of these childhood experiences can be mitigated. What are “Adverse Childhood Experiences”? The term “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACEs) refers to a broad range of negative experiences that a child has or that they are exposed to while they are growing up. These stressful and traumatic experiences happen between the ages of 1 and 17 years, and some of these experiences include: Emotional or physical neglect. Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Witnessing domestic violence. Witnessing violence in one’s community. Having family members with serious mental health disorders. Parental separation or divorce. Having a parent or caregiver with a substance abuse disorder. Living in a household with an incarcerated family member. Having a family member attempt or die by suicide. These experiences affect a child’s sense of safety, and they can significantly disrupt their development. The unfortunate reality is that ACEs are common. Nearly 1 in 6 (17.3%) U.S. adults reported that they had experienced four or more types of ACEs, and around 64% reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE before they turned 18. By strengthening families, providing greater community access to resources such as those addressing homelessness, addiction, or maternity services, and by encouraging wider awareness about ACEs and their impact in childhood and into adulthood, they can be responded to much earlier and hopefully reduced as well. The impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences in adulthood. When a child experiences trauma or other [...]

Celebrations often come with gifts. They bring packages with brilliant colors and gleaming exteriors. Sometimes, the wrapping heightens the anticipation of what we discover inside. God wraps gifts, too. They come to us in various forms, though the packages don’t always seem to be what we would readily embrace as gift-worthy, such as trauma. We may not initially recognize it, but the trials we encounter in life are odd and unusual parcels. Considering the exterior, an uncomfortable and often unappealing nature of times marked by suffering, we don’t realize that what God is gifting outweighs the outward appearance of life’s conditions. Each challenge comes pre-packaged with treasure inside. We tend to discover the weight and worth of what’s through the process of unboxing. As we unpack these mystery packages, we encounter another facet of our Father. We may not always notice His Hand and His Heart through the events and circumstances, but when we pause to reflect, we can see how He has shown His kindness, favor, and protection. Even in the darkest moments, God is present. While we may acknowledge that He’s everywhere all at the same time, it helps to remember that He is with us specifically. He is near to the broken. That is what Christ does, binds and heals the fragments of minds and lives obliterated by the evil force behind our trauma. The Healer encounters us where trauma has wounded souls and scarred them with resentment and bitterness. Jesus doesn’t deny the presence of what was intended to steal our peace, kill our spark, and destroy our resolve; Instead, He asserts and reminds us what He came to do and the abundant life He brings to us in exchange. As we come to terms with the trauma that we experienced in the past, we [...]