Couples Counseling Archives | Grapevine Christian Counseling

Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Jennifer KooshianDecember 29th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One thing that every relationship needs to function is trust. A relationship can’t function if the people in it can’t rely on what they are saying to each other, or if they are constantly second-guessing and are suspicious of each other’s motives. Such a hostile environment makes for an uncomfortable relationship that lacks any mutual dependence, real intimacy, and growth, and is characterized by trust issues. One could say that trust is the soil that a relationship grows in, and if stripped of trust, a relationship will likely wither and perish in the long run. Identifying and addressing trust issues can help a relationship to thrive by creating room in the relationship to be vulnerable, to feel safe and secure enough to be intimate, to drop the walls and be yourself as well as minimize the conflict that so easily springs up due to distrust. What are trust issues? The term “trust issues” gets thrown around quite a bit and is often meant to indicate behaviors of distrust in relationships with others. It is most often used about intimate relationships. The term can be leveraged unfairly and end up masking what may be complex emotional challenges that are rooted in a person’s past experiences and the insecure attachment style that resulted from those experiences. Trusting someone is about being willing to depend on them, taking them at their word, and taking for granted that they are reliable. When a person has trust issues, they struggle to do these things with another person, whether it is a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague. Why do they develop between people? Trust issues develop in several ways. Some people struggle to trust others because of past experiences in their childhood. For instance, witnessing parental conflict or the betrayal of one parent [...]

Comments Off

Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Kate MotaungSeptember 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People make promises as a way to indicate their seriousness about following through on their words with actions. Promises are a way to shore up trust, giving it a solid reference point. A person’s words matter whether they are expressed in the form of a promise or as a statement. We shape our lives based on people’s words, and so when words and actions don’t match (such as in cases of infidelity), it can cause profound disappointment and hurt. A romantic relationship carries certain expectations. Among these is the expectation of faithfulness, whether this was spoken or not. Increasingly, one has to make it explicit that the relationship is exclusive, otherwise the other person may assume that the relationship is open or polyamorous. Even with this sinful shift in our social mores, disappointment often ensues upon discovery that a relationship you’re invested in has been rocked by what you consider infidelity. How do you cope well when that happens to you? How infidelity affects you Infidelity is when an emotional, physical, or sexual boundary in the relationship is crossed. It’s when something that was meant to be exclusive is shared with a third party. When you entrust yourself and your life to someone else, a breach of trust can have profound effects on one’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Some of the ways infidelity can affect a person include: Dealing with infidelity can feel a lot like going through grief and loss. Infidelity can increase anxiety and depression, not to mention stress levels. One can experience PTSD-like symptoms after being cheated on. Trust issues. The deep betrayal of infidelity can cause mistrust of others for a long time afterward Shakes one’s self-confidence. One can internalize the infidelity and blame themselves, leading to lower self-esteem or self-worth. Affects loved ones. [...]

Comments Off

4 Topics Covered in Premarital Counseling

4 Topics Covered in Premarital Counseling

Kate MotaungAugust 16th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

When a couple gets engaged and embarks on their journey toward marriage, premarital counseling can play an important role. Premarital counseling opens lines of communication regarding important issues that can, ultimately, make or break a marriage. Most love-struck couples cannot imagine disagreements arising from these topics. It is, however, worthwhile to lay the groundwork for coming back to what was discussed at the start of marriage, when conflict rears its head. The reality is that life on this side of heaven is not perfect. Two sinners joined together in holy matrimony will need to be able to see one another’s point of view, and be able to compromise on certain things over the course of their marriage. 4 Common Topics Considered in Premarital Counseling Premarital counselors are skilled in guiding conversation on the following topics: 1. Finances As unromantic as it may sound, a couple’s way of handling finances is one of the most foundational elements of building a strong marriage and life together. Conflict about money including how to spend it and how to save it can wreak havoc on marital happiness. This is why it is good to discuss money matters during premarital counseling. Questions such as how much each partner is bringing into the marriage, how a budget will be devised, who will be responsible for various parts of executing the budget, and how both partners envision their financial future, will open up the topic for deeper discussion. In a Christian marriage, it is important to remember that God is responsible for all material provision, and wise stewardship of the resources He gives is a biblical mandate. 2. Family Matters While two people may seem similar in terms of their culture and upbringing, the reality is that every person grew up with a unique family dynamic. [...]

Comments Off

How to Address Resentment in Marriage

How to Address Resentment in Marriage

Kate MotaungJune 30th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Your spouse is the person with whom you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life. He or she can sometimes become the person who causes you the deepest pain, which can lead to resentment in marriage. C.S. Lewis once wrote, "To love at all is to be vulnerable." You can’t truly love someone without being open to them, sharing yourself with them, and possibly being hurt by them. This is the risk we all take in forming relationships with other people, and while it’s a risk worth taking to experience love, it can be an expensive risk. How resentment in marriage happens Of course, your spouse isn’t supposed to hurt you, but all too often that’s precisely what happens. When a loved one hurts you, what often compounds that hurt is the sense of betrayal – surely they, of all people, ought to know that this would hurt. A stranger can hurt you, but you don’t expect them to look out for you; you do expect those who love you to show some consideration. When you’re hurt, the anger and ill feeling that flows from that can cause resentment. Resentment is a complex emotion that combines anger, disgust, fear, and disappointment. It can set in if a person repeatedly doesn’t respect your boundaries, take advantage of you, or they show preferential treatment to someone else, or they disappoint your expectations. This can happen in marriage if one spouse doesn’t do their chores routinely and expects their spouse to pick up the slack. It happens if the words “Thank you” are absent in a marriage, and one feels taken for granted. Resentment can develop if one spouse makes fun of the other in the company, or if one spouse has an affair or withholds affection. When these and other [...]

Comments Off

What Will Couples Therapy Do for You?

What Will Couples Therapy Do for You?

Kate MotaungDecember 26th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage counseling, couples therapy, and marital therapy are some of the names for counseling or therapy specific to a couple. This particular kind of family therapy can be useful in examining the underlying reasons why two people disagree. For a romantic relationship to mend and develop, this kind of relationship therapy also emphasizes strengthening communication abilities. Marriage counseling or couples therapy can have a lot of advantages when two people commit to it. It can help forge a relationship based on respect, consideration, and trust. Committing to attending couples therapy in person or online with Grapevine Christian Counseling will be the best thing you ever do for your love life. especially in light of the CDC’s estimate that there are 2.7 divorces for every 1000 people in the US. Types of couples therapy Relationship therapy Every couple encounters difficulties that, at some point or another, put their relationship to the test. It may occur in the tenth week or tenth year of a relationship. When it does, you may require outside assistance to find a way forward. You’re not required to go it alone. Whatever the circumstances of your relationship, couples counseling provides you and your partner with the structure and support you require in a private, impartial setting that fosters growth. You’ll learn conflict-resolution techniques and better communication techniques in couples therapy. Your relationship will become healthier, stronger, and more loving as you examine relationship patterns, rebuild trust, rediscover your mutual passions, and deal with any dysfunction that may be present. Marriage therapy Marriage requires work. For a marriage to remain healthy, you must make investments. It’s beneficial to acknowledge the need for some reliable advice when you encounter those inescapable hiccups on your journey together. Marriage therapy can be beneficial. You and your spouse can confront those [...]

Comments Off

Couples Counseling

CONTACT INFO

Grapevine Christian Counseling

ABOUT US