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Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Jennifer KooshianAugust 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships can run the gamut from beautiful and fulfilling to traumatic and life-altering. It’s not always easy to know when to walk away from a relationship; perhaps this is just a bad season and good times are just around the corner. Or, given time and some elbow grease, things could turn around. These and many other thoughts could accompany the conviction to hang in there for another day or another year and put off the contemplation of divorce. The life and the story of any marriage is a unique one, and it can be difficult to walk others through the intricacies of each decision and action that has led you to the point of seeking a divorce. Ending a relationship, much less a marriage, is a step that ought to be undertaken thoughtfully; at least with as much thought as what you applied to enter the relationship to begin with. This article will attempt to highlight some considerations to make before stepping toward divorce. Implications and reasons for divorce There are many reasons why a person could decide to get divorced. Some of the main reasons why people get divorced include issues as diverse as infidelity, conflict over money, a lack of commitment, domestic violence and other forms of abuse, differences over roles and division of labor in the family, incompatible or conflicting parenting styles, lack of family support, emotional neglect, and religious and cultural differences, to name a few. These reasons may just be words on a page for some, but for the person who has lived through those conflicts, the emotional abandonment, or financial strain, they may be reminders of a dark and painful time that’s probably best forgotten. Whatever else it might be, the thought of getting a divorce might feel like getting a reprieve from [...]

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Symptoms of ADHD in Children: Inattentive Type and Hyperactive-Impulsive Type

Symptoms of ADHD in Children: Inattentive Type and Hyperactive-Impulsive Type

Sandra SteinJuly 17th, 2024|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured|

Does your child have trouble sitting still or paying attention? Is he or she impulsive and disruptive? Have you ever found yourself wondering whether this is normal behavior for a child their age or whether it might be a sign of ADHD? If so, this article on the symptoms of ADHD in children may contain the answers to your questions and help you understand the difference. What is ADHD? ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder that typically appears in early childhood and affects a child’s behavior, causing difficulties in their day-to-day life. Symptoms are categorized in one of three ways – predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, or a combination of the two. Taken individually, symptoms such as a short attention span or hyperactivity do not necessarily mean your child has ADHD. Nearly all children at one time or another do things that children with ADHD do, such as not pay attention, fidget, get distracted, have trouble waiting their turn, act impulsively, or run when told to walk. But if they are also able to sit still, be focused, and control themselves at least part of the time, it is probably not an indicator of ADHD. Children with ADHD are not able to do that. For them, it’s not a sometimes thing. Symptoms of ADHD in children According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) there are eighteen behaviors that can indicate that a child might have ADHD. Nine of these fall under the category of inattention, and the other nine under hyperactive-impulsive. To be diagnosed with ADHD, children under 17 years of age must exhibit six or more symptoms in either category (five or more if they are 17 or older), have had them for at least six months, and several of [...]

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Tips for Men Facing Depression

Tips for Men Facing Depression

Kate MotaungJune 26th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Men often have particular ways of dealing with depression that are different from how women, teens, and children deal with depression. Men tend to bottle up their feelings, withdraw from friends and family, and seek out escapist coping behaviors, like playing video games, binge drinking, or watching excessive amounts of sports. These coping methods may feel helpful in the short term, but they might be damaging to a man’s relationships, profession, and long-term mental health. There are different types of depression and varied reasons for experiencing it, but all types are treatable through a combination of therapy and medication. Here are some tips for men to identify depression, and then to know how to cope with it. Keep in mind that all the personal effort you put into coping with depression could be supplemented with professional help from a counselor or therapist. Stop and self-evaluate Research shows that most men become depressed through over-extending themselves. Most of us want to just keep going, but you can’t run on fumes forever. No matter the pressure that is on you at this current moment, it is always a good idea to take some time to check in with yourself, even if it is only a few hours at the end of the day. You might be depressed if you are experiencing uncharacteristic emotional outbursts, have trouble sleeping, have constant thoughts of wishing you were away from your current situation, or are experiencing constant physical exhaustion. When the things that used to bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment no longer have the same effect, that’s often a clear sign that you are dealing with depression. You might not even know it until you stop and consider how you are doing below the surface. Get balance Men tend to use escapism [...]

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Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Jennifer KooshianMay 22nd, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Setting off on a brand-new adventure can be a whole lot of fun. Of course, going out and starting something new can also be scary in its own way. Moving to a new house can be an adventure for a family, but moving stress is also one of the more intense things a person can experience. If it’s stressful for the adults in the situation, it’s quite likely that the children will also be feeling stressed. There are some quick and easy ways for you to make your move as stress-free as possible for your family. Being prepared and organized can help you face your move with confidence, and you can make it into your new home with your good humor, and your relationships with one another, intact. Why moving is stressful The top five stressors that a person can experience include the death of a loved one, experiencing a long-term illness, divorce or separation from your spouse, moving, and job loss. Moving house can be stressful mostly because change goes against our habituated nature. When you have your established routines, friendship circles, favorite coffee shop, and park, leaving those behind in a move can be difficult. Moving, in some ways, can induce a sense of loss. The thought of moving and being uprooted from everything familiar to you can trigger grief, even if it is anticipatory grief at the thought of what you might be losing with your move away from your current home. In addition to these reasons, moving can also be stressful because of the circumstances under which the move is undertaken. If you move because of financial troubles, or because you and your family experienced a traumatic event such as a fire, that adds to the stress of moving. Unexpected moves due to a family [...]

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Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Kate MotaungMay 15th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Hope for a new way of being can seem out of reach for those of us whose past is marked by a struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. The world touts that success worth having demands gargantuan steps and grandiose actions to overcompensate for a troublesome past. When we superimpose that atop the lofty call of living out what God has placed in us, transformation seems tedious and unattainable, and can lead to what is known as impostor syndrome. Although we may experience initial motivation, the idea of keeping pace with culture can result in feeling overwhelmed, even in small pivots. In many ways, the same enemy who tries to abort our incremental attempts to realize success also seeks to undermine when we experience the fruit of our labor and investment with the Lord. You can evict the impostor when you consider a different perspective. Here are three things we can do. Evaluating success We can show up to a place that we identified as our benchmark for success, yet feel as if we are a failure underneath, an impostor in our own lives. The nature of impostor syndrome paralyzes those experiencing a measure of what the world defines as success or individuals making moves in that direction. Externally, we may look as if we have what we desire, but inside, our thoughts and emotions are stymied by insecurity. When that success is not reflected internally, the voice of a lack mindset amplifies itself in accusation. We can feel as if we deserve none of the rewards from our effort or that we are defrauding them because we still experience struggles like any other human. Encountering biblical truth Inside, we wrestle with the successful result where receiving the fruit of our labor intersects with the blessing of God’s kindness [...]

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Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Kate MotaungApril 22nd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about forgiveness? Here are several Scriptures about forgiving others and being forgiven. If you’re going by what makes the headlines, the world doesn’t seem like a fair place. Those who hurt others, take advantage of them, and who work the system seem to get away with it. This happens in society at large, but it also happens in our relationships. Colleagues take advantage of generosity, and loved ones, neighbors, and strangers can seem to have no compunction about abusing one’s kindness. Forgiveness gives way to revenge. The above is a jaundiced view of society, but it can sometimes feel like you’re playing by the rules while others aren’t. But even in those situations where you feel like you’re a righteous sufferer, God’s call to His people is for them to be marked by forgiveness for even those they consider enemies (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27-28). Forgiveness releases you from the desire for vengeance, and it frees you of bitterness toward others. Not only that, but forgiveness is one of many ways we can begin imitating God, who has forgiven us much. For the disciple of Jesus, forgiveness is a way of life. Bible verses about forgiveness. Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. – Psalm 32:1-2, NIV The Psalms are a prayer and songbook, and here David was rejoicing in the blessings of being forgiven. When God forgives us, He lifts the burden of our failures off our shoulders and takes it upon His own. The role we play is to allow Him to relieve us of the burden, and to trust that He does not hold anything against us. When [...]

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8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

Jennifer KooshianApril 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article There are few things as precious as having a deep sense of connection to other people. Feeling like you belong, like you are valuable and wanted, is a deep need that people have, as we are such social creatures. That’s why it hurts so much when disconnection happens – it isolates you from others and it can make you question your self-worth as well as ask questions about why the disconnect occurred. One of the ways the sense of disconnection between people can happen is when rejection occurs. Rejection happens for many different reasons, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways of dealing with it. Dealing with rejection well will help you make the most of your life as it is, and it allows you to grow and learn as you move toward your goals. Rejection in all its facets Rejection can occur in a wide variety of situations. You might experience a sense of rejection if you apply for a job and don’t get it. The same can happen if you put in for a promotion at your current workplace and someone else gets it. When you apply to a college for a spot, or you try out for a team, or you ask someone out and they say “no” – these are just some of the ways rejection happens. Rejection also happens when you’re in a committed relationship with someone, and for one reason or another, they decide to end the relationship. That situation can hurt more than the others because of the deep personal connection that gets severed. Neurologically speaking, an MRI indicates that there is very little difference between the emotional pain of rejection and the physical pain experienced through an injury. The agony of being rejected is [...]

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Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Joanna KuchereraFebruary 28th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When reducing anxiety, we need to employ a holistic approach. Diverse strategies are needed to target the physical, mental, and emotional side of our being. Everything is interconnected and when one area is not well, all areas suffer. This is the reason a well-rounded approach works best when tackling issues with stress and anxiety. Anxiety is the feelings you experience as a response to stress or a perceived threat. It can be characterized by excessive worry, sleepless nights, fatigue, irritability, and restlessness. We all experience anxiety from time to time; it is normal. However, when it becomes debilitating and interferes with your day-to-day functioning, you need to take note and take care of yourself. Below are some common self-care strategies you can use to reduce the effects of anxiety. Self-care strategies for reducing anxiety Boundaries. Part of taking care of yourself and reducing anxiety in your life is by having boundaries. Boundaries are simply ways in which you live that give you room to take on only what you have the capacity for and refusing to engage in what you do not have the strength to do. Stress and anxiety are reduced because you are not overwhelmed. It makes room and space for the things that build you up instead. It also avoids over-functioning in relationships. Discipline. A lot of stress and anxiety comes from not being able to manage time wisely and not being disciplined in doing what we are supposed to do. Having a disciplined life means you are not living a life of catching up, but rather managing tasks and responsibilities promptly. This reduces a significant amount of stress and anxiety, leaving you feeling capable, calm, and confident. Healthy diet. We rely on our body to be in good working order for us to thrive. Taking [...]

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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You As An Adult

How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You As An Adult

Jennifer KooshianNovember 29th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

None of us have any control over the situations we are born in. However, an auspicious beginning doesn’t necessarily mean a successful ending, and having challenges early on doesn’t mean things won’t turn out well. Adverse childhood experiences can have a significant impact on a child and continue to reverberate throughout their life. Healing and hope can be found, and the negative effects of these childhood experiences can be mitigated. What are “Adverse Childhood Experiences”? The term “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACEs) refers to a broad range of negative experiences that a child has or that they are exposed to while they are growing up. These stressful and traumatic experiences happen between the ages of 1 and 17 years, and some of these experiences include: Emotional or physical neglect. Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Witnessing domestic violence. Witnessing violence in one’s community. Having family members with serious mental health disorders. Parental separation or divorce. Having a parent or caregiver with a substance abuse disorder. Living in a household with an incarcerated family member. Having a family member attempt or die by suicide. These experiences affect a child’s sense of safety, and they can significantly disrupt their development. The unfortunate reality is that ACEs are common. Nearly 1 in 6 (17.3%) U.S. adults reported that they had experienced four or more types of ACEs, and around 64% reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE before they turned 18. By strengthening families, providing greater community access to resources such as those addressing homelessness, addiction, or maternity services, and by encouraging wider awareness about ACEs and their impact in childhood and into adulthood, they can be responded to much earlier and hopefully reduced as well. The impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences in adulthood. When a child experiences trauma or other [...]

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Questions and Quandaries: Triumph Over Trauma

Questions and Quandaries: Triumph Over Trauma

Kate MotaungNovember 21st, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Celebrations often come with gifts. They bring packages with brilliant colors and gleaming exteriors. Sometimes, the wrapping heightens the anticipation of what we discover inside. God wraps gifts, too. They come to us in various forms, though the packages don’t always seem to be what we would readily embrace as gift-worthy, such as trauma. We may not initially recognize it, but the trials we encounter in life are odd and unusual parcels. Considering the exterior, an uncomfortable and often unappealing nature of times marked by suffering, we don’t realize that what God is gifting outweighs the outward appearance of life’s conditions. Each challenge comes pre-packaged with treasure inside. We tend to discover the weight and worth of what’s through the process of unboxing. As we unpack these mystery packages, we encounter another facet of our Father. We may not always notice His Hand and His Heart through the events and circumstances, but when we pause to reflect, we can see how He has shown His kindness, favor, and protection. Even in the darkest moments, God is present. While we may acknowledge that He’s everywhere all at the same time, it helps to remember that He is with us specifically. He is near to the broken. That is what Christ does, binds and heals the fragments of minds and lives obliterated by the evil force behind our trauma. The Healer encounters us where trauma has wounded souls and scarred them with resentment and bitterness. Jesus doesn’t deny the presence of what was intended to steal our peace, kill our spark, and destroy our resolve; Instead, He asserts and reminds us what He came to do and the abundant life He brings to us in exchange. As we come to terms with the trauma that we experienced in the past, we [...]

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