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The Substance of Shame: Navigating Chemical Dependency

The Substance of Shame: Navigating Chemical Dependency

By Kate Motaung|June 13th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Struggle and shame are two of several universal elements that connect us in this human experience. Our backgrounds or the circumstances that led us to begin using our drug of choice may differ. Yet, those of us in recovery, or at least seeking freedom from substance abuse disorder or chemical dependency, are fully aware of our commonalities. Personal battles bring ups and downs, pushing and pulling, twisting and turning our souls. It leaves us weary, longing for the rest from labor that the Messiah promised in His Presence (Matthew 11:28-30). Though we may all experience struggles, the work of the enemy is to persuade us that ours make us weird, different, and not accepted among others. Like Adam and Eve, we retreat to the shadows. We try to find our cover in the darkness, and among the shadows that veil who we are and what we have encountered. This, however, doesn’t stop the voice of God from coming for us, in between the narrow spaces where we have clustered ourselves, clinging to invisibility, yet craving to be known and loved. Chemical dependency: Struggle, shame, and stigma We all experience it, though it may vary from one person to the next. It can make us want to cringe and cover ourselves in shame. Addiction is often accompanied by stigma. Even among other believers who share our faith in Christ, we can feel lonely and isolated. Somehow, we tend to believe that our struggle is unrelatable. Whether we are still getting high and struggling, sober and still struggling to remain clean, or sponsoring others in their journey, we must know that God is faithful. Scripture describes the connection as an irrevocable marriage covenantto the backslider, the one who has fallen and needs help to get up or get up again. If [...]

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Overcoming Some Common Women’s Insecurities

Overcoming Some Common Women’s Insecurities

By Kate Motaung|May 25th, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Many women struggle with some level of doubts and insecurities about themselves. This may result from things people have said to them, whether it’s a friend or family member or just a colleague they are not even close to. It may even originate primarily in their minds as a result of assumptions they have made about what people around them may be thinking. Particularly in our age of social media, it can be easy to compare yourself to others out there and feel like you don’t measure up. Insecurities can be slight, just a niggling doubt in the back of the mind, or they can be completely overwhelming and even debilitating, making it hard to face the daily challenges that come your way. Before you know it, you are filled with self-doubt and feeling like you fall short. 5 Common Insecurities Women Face Some common insecurities that women struggle with include physical insecurities, relationship insecurities, social insecurities, intellectual insecurities, and spiritual insecurities. 1. Physical insecurities are those doubts you feel about the way that you look. Whether you believe some beauty standard from society or via social media, or you simply compare yourself to someone you know it can cause insecurity. Once you have decided that something specific fits the definition of beauty, it can be easy to start comparing yourself to that and feeling like you fall short. When this happens, it can be hard to escape the feeling that you’re too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, or that somehow you’re not pretty enough. 2. Another major area of insecurities is relationships. In terms of a romantic relationship, a woman can question whether she is desirable as a partner and whether her partner might leave her for someone else. If this is a deeply rooted insecurity, [...]

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Finding the Right Help for Your Teen

Finding the Right Help for Your Teen

By Kate Motaung|May 10th, 2023|Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Life can be a turbulent journey that takes savvy and deep wisdom to negotiate well. As a parent, you face a variety of challenges, not least of which is getting help for your teen to live in ways that help them flourish as they mature in the Lord. In moments of honest vulnerability, parents will often acknowledge that they don’t have it all figured out and have a lot to learn when it comes to parenting their kids. That’s all right. It’s more common than you’d think and help is available. Does my teen need counseling? Teens are figuring out who they are in a new phase of life. If parents struggle trying to figure out how to help for their teen as they struggle through the changes initiated by adolescence, imagine how those teens are experiencing this bewildering time. Of course, 21st-century children have no shortage of voices telling them who they should be, from friends at school, influencers on social media, and the adults in their life. Much of the “wisdom” your teen encounters will likely not be helpful or may conflict with your values as a family. Your teen may need counseling in certain circumstances, including the following: Their grades are dropping, and they’re getting in trouble at school. Their weight and appetite change dramatically. They become more isolated and withdrawn, and they seem sad. They begin harming themselves, and they talk about death and dying. They begin abusing substances, from recreational and other drugs to alcohol and other substances to get a high. They are engaging in high-risk behavior such as unprotected and promiscuous sex, or reckless driving. They have unexplained anger outbursts, and they struggle to regulate their emotions. It’s important to remember that becoming a teenager will bring changes, and each child will [...]

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Care, Cope, Counsel: Navigating Grief

Care, Cope, Counsel: Navigating Grief

By Kate Motaung|May 10th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Contrary to the popular saying, time does not heal all wounds. What we do with the passage of our days and years is actually what bears the most significant impact on our mental, emotional, and spiritual state. Such is the case when we are navigating the experience of grief. While we often define it in the context of death, grief itself encompasses the emotional anguish we experience following loss of any sort. Death is one of the experiences that we cannot escape in life. When we experience a loss of life, we encounter a range of different emotions. In response, we can feel stunned and bewildered, angry or incredulous. Navigating grief can be uncomfortable and unsettling. Having a roadmap to acquaint ourselves with grief’s stages can help us to better understand the mystery of our thoughts and emotions. Whether the loss is sudden or we expected a loved one to pass away, every loss is different. Our response will not be the same as another person’s, as grief is an experience that impacts human beings differently. The differences don’t only surface between experiences, but also within ourselves. We may grieve various losses differently than how we previously processed the loss of friends and family. It is important to acknowledge that fact and receive grace to absorb the present reality. In whatever stage of grief we find ourselves in, we can be reminded that the Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He is present in times of sorrow, to console us and bottle our tears. He is our peace and strength, even as we hurt and heal. Navigating grief involves various stages. We don’t necessarily advance from one stage to another linearly and we may even experience some phases simultaneously or in a different order. As one might imagine, when we [...]

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How to Bust Through Stress Eating

How to Bust Through Stress Eating

By Melissa Plantz|May 10th, 2023|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Stress eating becomes a habit once our brains recognize that the action gives us pleasure. When we eat carb-loaded, starchy, sugary, or salty foods, the reward system in our brains activates, and we feel relief from whatever is stressing us out. But we know that is only a temporary relief, and the stress (and the emotions that come with it) will return. How to End the Stress Eating Cycle You can end the cycle of stress eating with a few lifestyle changes. Ask yourself if you are really hungry. Before you reach for that chocolate candy on your coworker’s desk or pull into the drive-thru after a long day, pause to ask yourself if you are truly hungry. Hunger is a physical sensation in your stomach, not an urge. Is your stomach growling? Can you feel a little bit of acid moving around? These are physical cues that your stomach is empty, and you need to refuel. However, the urges accompanying stress eating feel more like a pulling sensation. It is a sudden demand for food. You may have just eaten a meal and felt full not twenty minutes earlier, but now the urge to eat something sweet, salty, or starchy is all you can think about. Like a smoker with the habit of puffing a cigarette, you desire to put food in your mouth. In reality, you may only be tired, angry, bored, or lonely. Ask yourself what emotion is driving this eating behavior. Do something else. One of the reasons we stress eat is boredom. We may have a list of things to do, but we want to distract ourselves, and nothing can take our minds off our worries. In response, we turn to food. Instead of reaching for a snack, make a list of self-care tasks. [...]

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How to Communicate Better with Your Child

How to Communicate Better with Your Child

By Kate Motaung|February 18th, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Your child listens and learns from you through your words, the tone and sound of your voice, your facial expression, and the affection that accompanies them when you interact with them. Learning to communicate better with your child is a valuable skill. You can learn how. Relying on personal experience or traditions from your family of origin may not be sufficient. Being clear with yourself that better communication can be learned means that you will likely take advantage of this opportunity and familiarize yourself with the various ways we communicate with our children. This is important as the way you parent and relate messages to your child teaches them how to communicate with others, it shapes their emotional development, and forms the method they will use to build relationships as they grow up. Knowing how to communicate better with your child is important and powerful. The self-concept that your child will develop as a result of their early childhood experiences gives them a sense of who they are, as well as their interpretation of their place within their family and community. Their ability to manage stress, feel confident and motivate themselves as adults is intrinsically linked to their experiences as a child between the ages of two and six years. It is the parent’s responsibility to ensure that the relationship with the child is positive and so strengthen this outcome. Feeling blamed, judged, criticized, and the butt of jokes may fuel a negative cycle. This can lead to a self-perception that they deserve blame, judgement, criticism, and scorn. How to communicate better It is important to know there are two different types of communication. Verbal communication is the way we communicate with our words. Non-verbal communication includes both intentional and unintentional communication through body language. Verbal communication includes the [...]

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Getting Old Versus Aging Gracefully

Getting Old Versus Aging Gracefully

By Melissa Plantz|February 9th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Some people consider the words “getting old” as derogatory as if aging is something we should think of as an insult. Yet, not only are millions of people worldwide not aging gracefully, they never live long enough to grow old. However, there is a difference between having a “getting old” mindset and aging gracefully. Aging gracefully means treating this season as you would your childhood, teen years, young adulthood, and middle age. It is another season where changes take place, and new opportunities arise. It is a time when we bring wisdom and rely on family and relationships for companionship. Tips for getting old and aging gracefully “Getting old” is a mindset that you believe you have no control over your life and that death is inevitable. Although death is the transition from this world as we know it and being with God, death can arrive for anyone and any time, no matter the age. Instead, embrace the years you have now. If you are still breathing, God is not done with you yet. You can shift your mindset to aging gracefully by being prepared and tapping into the childhood/teen/young adult years. After all, you can bring a new perspective to those seasons. Commit to caring for the body and mind. To enjoy your senior years, you want to work on your physical and mental health as early as possible. However, even if you did not stay consistent with exercise and eating nutritious food, you can start now. You may want to request help from a dietician or nutritionist to help you choose meal plans, shop for food, and cook new recipes. Your physician should give you clearance before you start any exercise regimen. However, even walking short distances as you build your endurance and stamina will improve your [...]

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Chronic Illness and Depression: How to Find Hope and Support

Chronic Illness and Depression: How to Find Hope and Support

By Kate Motaung|January 18th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It is more common for people who suffer from chronic illnesses to also struggle with depression. Unfortunately, people who suffer from depression also have an increased risk of developing a chronic illness. However, depression can still be treated even if you have a chronic illness. What is a chronic illness? A condition that usually lasts three months or longer. Is not preventable by vaccination. Has no existing cure, even if it is treatable. Heart disease, stroke, and ongoing pain are examples of some of the most prevalent types of chronic conditions (diseases). It is estimated that more than one hundred million people in the United States are coping with at least one chronic illness, and the majority of them are managing at least two illnesses simultaneously. There is a high rate of inaccuracy and delay in the diagnosis of chronic diseases. When you are aware that something is wrong with your body but you are unable to get a diagnosis or treatment for it, it can be an extremely taxing experience on your emotional well-being. After receiving a diagnosis, additional issues might appear. In general, the treatment focuses on the physical aspects of the disease the vast majority of the time; in the meantime, the mental and emotional aspects may not receive the appropriate attention. It may be difficult for you to articulate how you are feeling in the beginning stages of a chronic illness as well as throughout the illness itself. In general, the treatment focuses on the physical aspects of the disease the vast majority of the time; in the meantime, the mental and emotional aspects may not receive the appropriate attention. Working through a chronic illness diagnosis A diagnosis of chronic illness can cause a person to experience a sense of having lost touch with who [...]

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What Will Couples Therapy Do for You?

What Will Couples Therapy Do for You?

By Kate Motaung|December 26th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage counseling, couples therapy, and marital therapy are some of the names for counseling or therapy specific to a couple. This particular kind of family therapy can be useful in examining the underlying reasons why two people disagree. For a romantic relationship to mend and develop, this kind of relationship therapy also emphasizes strengthening communication abilities. Marriage counseling or couples therapy can have a lot of advantages when two people commit to it. It can help forge a relationship based on respect, consideration, and trust. Committing to attending couples therapy in person or online with Grapevine Christian Counseling will be the best thing you ever do for your love life. especially in light of the CDC’s estimate that there are 2.7 divorces for every 1000 people in the US. Types of couples therapy Relationship therapy Every couple encounters difficulties that, at some point or another, put their relationship to the test. It may occur in the tenth week or tenth year of a relationship. When it does, you may require outside assistance to find a way forward. You’re not required to go it alone. Whatever the circumstances of your relationship, couples counseling provides you and your partner with the structure and support you require in a private, impartial setting that fosters growth. You’ll learn conflict-resolution techniques and better communication techniques in couples therapy. Your relationship will become healthier, stronger, and more loving as you examine relationship patterns, rebuild trust, rediscover your mutual passions, and deal with any dysfunction that may be present. Marriage therapy Marriage requires work. For a marriage to remain healthy, you must make investments. It’s beneficial to acknowledge the need for some reliable advice when you encounter those inescapable hiccups on your journey together. Marriage therapy can be beneficial. You and your spouse can confront those [...]

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The 12 Types of Anger Issues

The 12 Types of Anger Issues

By Kate Motaung|December 26th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. There are some situations in which it is a natural response. Approximately 10% of people under twenty-five reported having explosive anger episodes at least three times in their lifetime, according to a Harvard study. Different types of anger issues are common among American people. Despite this, about seventy-five percent of those affected improved as a result of appropriate intervention. There’s a common misconception that all types of anger manifest as loud and violent behavior. In reality, anger is a lot more complex and nuanced than a stereotypical blow-up. There are many types of anger issues that can be addressed. Psychologist Ephrem Fernandez classified anger into six dimensions, or spectrums, based on his psychological research. These include: The direction of anger (internal vs external) The anger reaction (retaliatory vs resistant) The mode of anger (physical vs verbal) Anger impulsivity (controlled vs uncontrolled) The objective of anger (restorative vs punitive) It’s not the angry feelings we experience in our daily lives that matter, but the way we manage them. In some cases, anger issues can be caused by feelings of extreme or uncontrollable anger, or by the inability to pinpoint the source of your anger. 12 Types of Anger There are different types of anger issues. You can improve your physical and mental health by identifying the type of anger you are experiencing and finding ways to handle it. The types of anger disorders discussed below are the most common. Here are twelve types of anger issues: 1. Assertive Anger In terms of anger expression, assertive anger is considered a constructive method. Instead of avoiding conversations or yelling, assertive anger influences positive change through a healthy and productive expression of frustration. Having assertive anger is about expressing your feelings [...]

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