Looking for grief therapy in Grapevine, Texas? If so, we can help. Grief is a complex and awful thing to go through. Usually, there is no coaching on how to help someone through grief because our culture treats death in avoidant ways. It is only at the funerals or memorial services that people openly speak about the lost loved one directly, about mortality and the meaning of life. From then on, many try to avoid these topics as best they can.
Death and grief are heavy topics, and it can be uncomfortable to navigate them. Unfortunately, we cannot avoid them, though. We should be able to support grieving friends as they deal with their loss in ways that aren’t complicated or hurtful.
Helping a Friend Through Grief
Grief isn’t an emotion that passes. When a person loses someone they loved, they will grieve that person for the rest of their lives. The first thing to know about grief, then, is that it never truly passes.
Grief changes over time. At first, people might feel highly emotional, stressed out, and unstable. Weeks afterward, they might be withdrawn, quiet, and depressed. Months after that, they might be stuck in depression, or they might appear to have moved on, even if they are only masking their emotions.
Grief is a unique process for every person. There are several things, though, that we can do for grieving friends that will hopefully help them. At least, we will have communicated that we care about our friend by trying any of these suggestions. Don’t be afraid of messing up. It’s always better to try and help a grieving friend than to avoid the topic entirely.
Give space for complicated feelings and awkwardness
Grief is messy and awkward. There is no training for it and no singular way of getting through it. Despite this, people are often afraid of saying the “wrong thing” or coming across as improper.
Sometimes, all a grieving person needs is a non-judgmental space to express themselves and a friend to do that with. You don’t need to lighten the mood, change the subject, or give your opinion. You just need to be present, open-minded, and flexible to whatever mood your friend is in.
Let them talk and help by asking follow-up questions
It can be tough to talk about a lost loved one, but many grievers reach a point where they would rather talk about them than stay silent. Their family members might not feel ready to talk about things, so they might need a friend there, ready to listen.
Let them talk. Don’t interrupt. Don’t change the subject. Ask follow-up questions. It is a gift to have a friend bear witness to precious stories and anecdotes about a lost loved one. It also helps to mention their loved one by name every so often.
Don’t stress about timing
People often worry about expressing sympathy too late or too early. There is no right or wrong time to show a grieving friend some love. It might help to remember that grief doesn’t truly pass. Your friend is still grieving even when they appear to be settled. A gift, card, kind word, or loving gesture might be even more meaningful to them months after the loss.
Remember important dates
Birthdays, anniversaries, and certain dates are important to grievers, whether they wish it or not. People often experience fresh waves of grief on their lost loved one’s birthday or on the anniversary of their passing. These would be great days to check in on your friends or to silently gift them with something that would be meaningful to them. At the very least, you could simply text them and ask them how they are doing.
Keep connecting and checking in
Soon after a friend loses their loved one, they will experience a wave of support, love, and sympathy. As time continues and life goes on, however, they tend to experience the deepest parts of their grief. This is when they need your friendship and consistency. A friend will likely appreciate you checking in with them about their grief weeks, months, and even years after their loss.
Grief Therapy in Grapevine, Texas
It can be tricky navigating secondhand grief. You might be fortunate not to have lost anyone yet, even though you might anticipate it happening at some point. Likewise, being there for your friend may trigger grief of your own from the life circumstances you have endured. You might feel like an imposter as you try to help a friend or a partner navigate their grief.
The good news is that there are grief support groups and individual grief counselors in Grapevine, Texas who will help you or your friend get through any kind of grief, whether firsthand, secondhand, or together. Contact our office at Grapevine Christian Counseling in Texas today if you would like more information or are ready to set up an appointment.
“Country Road”, Courtesy of Jonny Gios, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License
- Wade Van Staden: Author
As a native of Zimbabwe, Africa I have always used what I have to help where and whomever I can. I became a certified counselor immediately after leaving school, and have worked in charities, missions, and community projects and churches ever since....
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