How to Relieve Tension in a Strained Relationship

Understandably, people get on each other’s nerves. Even in the best of relationships, things don’t always go well, and the parties need space away from each other. Whether in a marriage, between siblings, between friends, or even a work relationship, that relationship can become strained and stop feeling enjoyable. If you are in a strained relationship and need to relieve tension, help is available.

Understanding relational strain

When a relationship is strained, that means the relationship has so many problems that the people in it feel stressed and overwhelmed. Relationships can get strained for several reasons. Some of these may be internal to the relationship, while others originate outside the relationship. Some of the more common pressures that can strain a relationship include the following:

Financial pressures

It is good to be free from the love of money, as that can cause many problems that are best avoided (1 Timothy 6: 6-10). However, just about everything in life has a price tag attached. If a couple isn’t on the same page about how they make and use the money and resources the Lord places in their hands, it can be a source of conflict and strain in the relationship.

Broken promises

A relationship thrives on trust and requires the people in it to keep and be true to their word. Broken promises, infidelity, and unmet expectations can all feed the breakdown of trust and lead to a strained relationship.

Poor communication

Just as with trust, a relationship needs good communication like a fire needs oxygen. It’s good to be able to express yourself and to feel heard in a relationship. Without good communication, opportunities to love and serve one another are missed, and frustrations can multiply.

Poor quality time and personal connection

People in a relationship need to invest in the relationship, and you need to feel that the other person is at least as invested as you are. Without time to bond, you can feel disconnected and more likely to walk away from the relationship.

A lack of appreciation

Relationships typically entail serving one another and meeting each other’s needs. Saying “Thank you” and showing appreciation, even for the little things, helps to show one another that you don’t take each other for granted.

Lack of alignment

If two people in a relationship have a significant difference in their priorities and values, that can put a strain on the relationship as it can cause conflict.

When a relationship is strained, you become sensitive to every little thing. A well-meaning comment can be taken as an assault, and an act of kindness can be taken as a form of manipulation. Relationship strain should be addressed as soon as possible. Otherwise, it can cause a rift that becomes harder to bridge the longer the situation persists.

How to relieve tension in strained relationships

Strained relationships often have a palpable tension in them. However, sometimes the people in them can’t quite tell what’s going on and why they just don’t seem to be enjoying their relationship. A few steps you can take to relieve the tension in a strained relationship include the following:

Reflect.

Pause and reflect on the dynamic in your relationship. Consider how you feel about your interactions and what you want from the relationship. Also, consider how you may be contributing to the dynamic.

Approach.

Speak with the other person and consider how he or she feels about things, and where he or she is at in the relationship. Be curious about how the other person sees and experiences the dynamics in your relationship.

Empathize.

Look at the situation from the other person’s perspective, listening with empathy and compassion. You might not solve the problem, but you can leave the conversation having understood one another better. Having that positive interaction, even if there’s no final resolution, is a great first step to reconnecting. You can have another conversation at another point, but it’s helpful to make a start.

Get help

It’s okay to get help in resolving relational strain. A trained therapist in Grapevine, Texas can help you work through these steps and open constructive dialogue that begins the healing process. Consider reaching out to a counselor at Grapevine Christian Counseling in Texas to help you reconnect and rebuild your relationship.