Individual Counseling Archives | Grapevine Christian Counseling

OCD Help: Understanding Rituals

OCD Help: Understanding Rituals

Stephanie KramerOctober 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

Dealing with time-consuming rituals can be one of the most challenging aspects of living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). While many with this disorder think conducting rituals will bring them peace, they often get the opposite result. When a ritual becomes too long or complicated, it can become a burden, leading to exhaustion. Read this article to find OCD help. These rituals, whether they involve constant checking, cleaning, or mental routines, often feel necessary at the time but can take over your day and leave little time for anything else. The good news? There are ways to manage and reduce the hold these rituals have on your life. When Rituals Are Helpful vs. Harmful Not all rituals are destructive. Sometimes they can be beneficial. For example, routines like checking that the stove is turned off or washing your hands before eating serve practical purposes. However, when they -become irrational or excessive, they can take over your life and cause significant distress. Understand your rituals The first step in managing your impractical rituals is to understand the reason they bring you comfort. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help you properly identify your rituals and better understand them. What specific actions do I feel compelled to repeat? Start by identifying the exact behaviors that you feel you must perform. Is it locking the door multiple times, washing your hands excessively, or mentally repeating a phrase? What triggers these actions? Consider what situations, thoughts, or emotions make you feel the need to perform these actions. Is it stress, or a fear of something going wrong? What do I hope to achieve by performing these rituals? Think about what you believe will happen if you don’t perform the ritual. Are you trying to prevent something bad from happening or is [...]

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Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Anger During Daily Commutes

Strategies for Managing Anxiety and Anger During Daily Commutes

Stephanie KramerAugust 28th, 2024|Anger Issues, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

According to the United States Census Bureau, the average commute in America has increased over the last few years to a new high of about an hour per day roundtrip. This means that the average adult spends nearly twenty hours a month traveling to and from their daily responsibilities. If you struggle with anxiety and anger, this has all the ingredients for an outburst. Knowing that you are facing potential triggers is the first step in learning to avoid them. Tips to manage anxiety and anger Here are some other tips to help you manage your anxiety and anger during your daily commute. Eat a balanced breakfast Being “hangry” (being simultaneously hungry and angry) is a real thing. Often our emotions are highest when we are hungry. Allowing enough time in your morning routine to have a healthy breakfast will help regulate your emotions. Include protein and healthy fats to stabilize blood sugar levels. Limit stimulants Avoid sugar and caffeine which can exacerbate anxiety symptoms. Before and during your commute drink water or herbal tea instead of coffee or sugary drinks. Get plenty of sleep As tempting as it is to stay up all night and flip through social media, getting a good night’s rest the night before can help you stay emotionally balanced throughout the day. Be prepared Being prepared is key to reducing anxiety. Before your commute, take a few minutes to ensure that everything you need is ready. This might include planning your route and checking for possible delays, packing your bag the night before, and setting out your clothes ahead of time to minimize morning decisions. Avoid triggers If you know that you get emotionally charged from listening to sports broadcasts or heated political debates, don’t. If driving past your ex-fiancée’s house will put you [...]

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Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Jennifer KooshianAugust 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships can run the gamut from beautiful and fulfilling to traumatic and life-altering. It’s not always easy to know when to walk away from a relationship; perhaps this is just a bad season and good times are just around the corner. Or, given time and some elbow grease, things could turn around. These and many other thoughts could accompany the conviction to hang in there for another day or another year and put off the contemplation of divorce. The life and the story of any marriage is a unique one, and it can be difficult to walk others through the intricacies of each decision and action that has led you to the point of seeking a divorce. Ending a relationship, much less a marriage, is a step that ought to be undertaken thoughtfully; at least with as much thought as what you applied to enter the relationship to begin with. This article will attempt to highlight some considerations to make before stepping toward divorce. Implications and reasons for divorce There are many reasons why a person could decide to get divorced. Some of the main reasons why people get divorced include issues as diverse as infidelity, conflict over money, a lack of commitment, domestic violence and other forms of abuse, differences over roles and division of labor in the family, incompatible or conflicting parenting styles, lack of family support, emotional neglect, and religious and cultural differences, to name a few. These reasons may just be words on a page for some, but for the person who has lived through those conflicts, the emotional abandonment, or financial strain, they may be reminders of a dark and painful time that’s probably best forgotten. Whatever else it might be, the thought of getting a divorce might feel like getting a reprieve from [...]

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Tips for Men Facing Depression

Tips for Men Facing Depression

Kate MotaungJune 26th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues|

Men often have particular ways of dealing with depression that are different from how women, teens, and children deal with depression. Men tend to bottle up their feelings, withdraw from friends and family, and seek out escapist coping behaviors, like playing video games, binge drinking, or watching excessive amounts of sports. These coping methods may feel helpful in the short term, but they might be damaging to a man’s relationships, profession, and long-term mental health. There are different types of depression and varied reasons for experiencing it, but all types are treatable through a combination of therapy and medication. Here are some tips for men to identify depression, and then to know how to cope with it. Keep in mind that all the personal effort you put into coping with depression could be supplemented with professional help from a counselor or therapist. Stop and self-evaluate Research shows that most men become depressed through over-extending themselves. Most of us want to just keep going, but you can’t run on fumes forever. No matter the pressure that is on you at this current moment, it is always a good idea to take some time to check in with yourself, even if it is only a few hours at the end of the day. You might be depressed if you are experiencing uncharacteristic emotional outbursts, have trouble sleeping, have constant thoughts of wishing you were away from your current situation, or are experiencing constant physical exhaustion. When the things that used to bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment no longer have the same effect, that’s often a clear sign that you are dealing with depression. You might not even know it until you stop and consider how you are doing below the surface. Get balance Men tend to use escapism [...]

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Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Jennifer KooshianMay 22nd, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Setting off on a brand-new adventure can be a whole lot of fun. Of course, going out and starting something new can also be scary in its own way. Moving to a new house can be an adventure for a family, but moving stress is also one of the more intense things a person can experience. If it’s stressful for the adults in the situation, it’s quite likely that the children will also be feeling stressed. There are some quick and easy ways for you to make your move as stress-free as possible for your family. Being prepared and organized can help you face your move with confidence, and you can make it into your new home with your good humor, and your relationships with one another, intact. Why moving is stressful The top five stressors that a person can experience include the death of a loved one, experiencing a long-term illness, divorce or separation from your spouse, moving, and job loss. Moving house can be stressful mostly because change goes against our habituated nature. When you have your established routines, friendship circles, favorite coffee shop, and park, leaving those behind in a move can be difficult. Moving, in some ways, can induce a sense of loss. The thought of moving and being uprooted from everything familiar to you can trigger grief, even if it is anticipatory grief at the thought of what you might be losing with your move away from your current home. In addition to these reasons, moving can also be stressful because of the circumstances under which the move is undertaken. If you move because of financial troubles, or because you and your family experienced a traumatic event such as a fire, that adds to the stress of moving. Unexpected moves due to a family [...]

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Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Kate MotaungMay 15th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Hope for a new way of being can seem out of reach for those of us whose past is marked by a struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. The world touts that success worth having demands gargantuan steps and grandiose actions to overcompensate for a troublesome past. When we superimpose that atop the lofty call of living out what God has placed in us, transformation seems tedious and unattainable, and can lead to what is known as impostor syndrome. Although we may experience initial motivation, the idea of keeping pace with culture can result in feeling overwhelmed, even in small pivots. In many ways, the same enemy who tries to abort our incremental attempts to realize success also seeks to undermine when we experience the fruit of our labor and investment with the Lord. You can evict the impostor when you consider a different perspective. Here are three things we can do. Evaluating success We can show up to a place that we identified as our benchmark for success, yet feel as if we are a failure underneath, an impostor in our own lives. The nature of impostor syndrome paralyzes those experiencing a measure of what the world defines as success or individuals making moves in that direction. Externally, we may look as if we have what we desire, but inside, our thoughts and emotions are stymied by insecurity. When that success is not reflected internally, the voice of a lack mindset amplifies itself in accusation. We can feel as if we deserve none of the rewards from our effort or that we are defrauding them because we still experience struggles like any other human. Encountering biblical truth Inside, we wrestle with the successful result where receiving the fruit of our labor intersects with the blessing of God’s kindness [...]

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Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Kate MotaungApril 22nd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about forgiveness? Here are several Scriptures about forgiving others and being forgiven. If you’re going by what makes the headlines, the world doesn’t seem like a fair place. Those who hurt others, take advantage of them, and who work the system seem to get away with it. This happens in society at large, but it also happens in our relationships. Colleagues take advantage of generosity, and loved ones, neighbors, and strangers can seem to have no compunction about abusing one’s kindness. Forgiveness gives way to revenge. The above is a jaundiced view of society, but it can sometimes feel like you’re playing by the rules while others aren’t. But even in those situations where you feel like you’re a righteous sufferer, God’s call to His people is for them to be marked by forgiveness for even those they consider enemies (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27-28). Forgiveness releases you from the desire for vengeance, and it frees you of bitterness toward others. Not only that, but forgiveness is one of many ways we can begin imitating God, who has forgiven us much. For the disciple of Jesus, forgiveness is a way of life. Bible verses about forgiveness. Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. – Psalm 32:1-2, NIV The Psalms are a prayer and songbook, and here David was rejoicing in the blessings of being forgiven. When God forgives us, He lifts the burden of our failures off our shoulders and takes it upon His own. The role we play is to allow Him to relieve us of the burden, and to trust that He does not hold anything against us. When [...]

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8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

Jennifer KooshianApril 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

There are few things as precious as having a deep sense of connection to other people. Feeling like you belong, like you are valuable and wanted, is a deep need that people have, as we are such social creatures. That’s why it hurts so much when disconnection happens – it isolates you from others and it can make you question your self-worth as well as ask questions about why the disconnect occurred. One of the ways the sense of disconnection between people can happen is when rejection occurs. Rejection happens for many different reasons, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways of dealing with it. Dealing with rejection well will help you make the most of your life as it is, and it allows you to grow and learn as you move toward your goals. Rejection in all its facets Rejection can occur in a wide variety of situations. You might experience a sense of rejection if you apply for a job and don’t get it. The same can happen if you put in for a promotion at your current workplace and someone else gets it. When you apply to a college for a spot, or you try out for a team, or you ask someone out and they say “no” – these are just some of the ways rejection happens. Rejection also happens when you’re in a committed relationship with someone, and for one reason or another, they decide to end the relationship. That situation can hurt more than the others because of the deep personal connection that gets severed. Neurologically speaking, an MRI indicates that there is very little difference between the emotional pain of rejection and the physical pain experienced through an injury. The agony of being rejected is real. The innate human need [...]

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Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Joanna KuchereraFebruary 28th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When reducing anxiety, we need to employ a holistic approach. Diverse strategies are needed to target the physical, mental, and emotional side of our being. Everything is interconnected and when one area is not well, all areas suffer. This is the reason a well-rounded approach works best when tackling issues with stress and anxiety. Anxiety is the feelings you experience as a response to stress or a perceived threat. It can be characterized by excessive worry, sleepless nights, fatigue, irritability, and restlessness. We all experience anxiety from time to time; it is normal. However, when it becomes debilitating and interferes with your day-to-day functioning, you need to take note and take care of yourself. Below are some common self-care strategies you can use to reduce the effects of anxiety. Self-care strategies for reducing anxiety Boundaries. Part of taking care of yourself and reducing anxiety in your life is by having boundaries. Boundaries are simply ways in which you live that give you room to take on only what you have the capacity for and refusing to engage in what you do not have the strength to do. Stress and anxiety are reduced because you are not overwhelmed. It makes room and space for the things that build you up instead. It also avoids over-functioning in relationships. Discipline. A lot of stress and anxiety comes from not being able to manage time wisely and not being disciplined in doing what we are supposed to do. Having a disciplined life means you are not living a life of catching up, but rather managing tasks and responsibilities promptly. This reduces a significant amount of stress and anxiety, leaving you feeling capable, calm, and confident. Healthy diet. We rely on our body to be in good working order for us to thrive. Taking [...]

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Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Jennifer KooshianDecember 29th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One thing that every relationship needs to function is trust. A relationship can’t function if the people in it can’t rely on what they are saying to each other, or if they are constantly second-guessing and are suspicious of each other’s motives. Such a hostile environment makes for an uncomfortable relationship that lacks any mutual dependence, real intimacy, and growth, and is characterized by trust issues. One could say that trust is the soil that a relationship grows in, and if stripped of trust, a relationship will likely wither and perish in the long run. Identifying and addressing trust issues can help a relationship to thrive by creating room in the relationship to be vulnerable, to feel safe and secure enough to be intimate, to drop the walls and be yourself as well as minimize the conflict that so easily springs up due to distrust. What are trust issues? The term “trust issues” gets thrown around quite a bit and is often meant to indicate behaviors of distrust in relationships with others. It is most often used about intimate relationships. The term can be leveraged unfairly and end up masking what may be complex emotional challenges that are rooted in a person’s past experiences and the insecure attachment style that resulted from those experiences. Trusting someone is about being willing to depend on them, taking them at their word, and taking for granted that they are reliable. When a person has trust issues, they struggle to do these things with another person, whether it is a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague. Why do they develop between people? Trust issues develop in several ways. Some people struggle to trust others because of past experiences in their childhood. For instance, witnessing parental conflict or the betrayal of one parent [...]

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