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Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Quick Ways to Ease Moving Stress for Your Family

Jennifer KooshianMay 22nd, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Setting off on a brand-new adventure can be a whole lot of fun. Of course, going out and starting something new can also be scary in its own way. Moving to a new house can be an adventure for a family, but moving stress is also one of the more intense things a person can experience. If it’s stressful for the adults in the situation, it’s quite likely that the children will also be feeling stressed. There are some quick and easy ways for you to make your move as stress-free as possible for your family. Being prepared and organized can help you face your move with confidence, and you can make it into your new home with your good humor, and your relationships with one another, intact. Why moving is stressful The top five stressors that a person can experience include the death of a loved one, experiencing a long-term illness, divorce or separation from your spouse, moving, and job loss. Moving house can be stressful mostly because change goes against our habituated nature. When you have your established routines, friendship circles, favorite coffee shop, and park, leaving those behind in a move can be difficult. Moving, in some ways, can induce a sense of loss. The thought of moving and being uprooted from everything familiar to you can trigger grief, even if it is anticipatory grief at the thought of what you might be losing with your move away from your current home. In addition to these reasons, moving can also be stressful because of the circumstances under which the move is undertaken. If you move because of financial troubles, or because you and your family experienced a traumatic event such as a fire, that adds to the stress of moving. Unexpected moves due to a family [...]

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Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Nothing to Prove, Nothing to Lose: Overcoming Insecurity and Impostor Syndrome

Kate MotaungMay 15th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Hope for a new way of being can seem out of reach for those of us whose past is marked by a struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. The world touts that success worth having demands gargantuan steps and grandiose actions to overcompensate for a troublesome past. When we superimpose that atop the lofty call of living out what God has placed in us, transformation seems tedious and unattainable, and can lead to what is known as impostor syndrome. Although we may experience initial motivation, the idea of keeping pace with culture can result in feeling overwhelmed, even in small pivots. In many ways, the same enemy who tries to abort our incremental attempts to realize success also seeks to undermine when we experience the fruit of our labor and investment with the Lord. You can evict the impostor when you consider a different perspective. Here are three things we can do. Evaluating success We can show up to a place that we identified as our benchmark for success, yet feel as if we are a failure underneath, an impostor in our own lives. The nature of impostor syndrome paralyzes those experiencing a measure of what the world defines as success or individuals making moves in that direction. Externally, we may look as if we have what we desire, but inside, our thoughts and emotions are stymied by insecurity. When that success is not reflected internally, the voice of a lack mindset amplifies itself in accusation. We can feel as if we deserve none of the rewards from our effort or that we are defrauding them because we still experience struggles like any other human. Encountering biblical truth Inside, we wrestle with the successful result where receiving the fruit of our labor intersects with the blessing of God’s kindness [...]

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Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Kate MotaungApril 22nd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about forgiveness? Here are several Scriptures about forgiving others and being forgiven. If you’re going by what makes the headlines, the world doesn’t seem like a fair place. Those who hurt others, take advantage of them, and who work the system seem to get away with it. This happens in society at large, but it also happens in our relationships. Colleagues take advantage of generosity, and loved ones, neighbors, and strangers can seem to have no compunction about abusing one’s kindness. Forgiveness gives way to revenge. The above is a jaundiced view of society, but it can sometimes feel like you’re playing by the rules while others aren’t. But even in those situations where you feel like you’re a righteous sufferer, God’s call to His people is for them to be marked by forgiveness for even those they consider enemies (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27-28). Forgiveness releases you from the desire for vengeance, and it frees you of bitterness toward others. Not only that, but forgiveness is one of many ways we can begin imitating God, who has forgiven us much. For the disciple of Jesus, forgiveness is a way of life. Bible verses about forgiveness. Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. – Psalm 32:1-2, NIV The Psalms are a prayer and songbook, and here David was rejoicing in the blessings of being forgiven. When God forgives us, He lifts the burden of our failures off our shoulders and takes it upon His own. The role we play is to allow Him to relieve us of the burden, and to trust that He does not hold anything against us. When [...]

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8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

Jennifer KooshianApril 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article There are few things as precious as having a deep sense of connection to other people. Feeling like you belong, like you are valuable and wanted, is a deep need that people have, as we are such social creatures. That’s why it hurts so much when disconnection happens – it isolates you from others and it can make you question your self-worth as well as ask questions about why the disconnect occurred. One of the ways the sense of disconnection between people can happen is when rejection occurs. Rejection happens for many different reasons, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways of dealing with it. Dealing with rejection well will help you make the most of your life as it is, and it allows you to grow and learn as you move toward your goals. Rejection in all its facets Rejection can occur in a wide variety of situations. You might experience a sense of rejection if you apply for a job and don’t get it. The same can happen if you put in for a promotion at your current workplace and someone else gets it. When you apply to a college for a spot, or you try out for a team, or you ask someone out and they say “no” – these are just some of the ways rejection happens. Rejection also happens when you’re in a committed relationship with someone, and for one reason or another, they decide to end the relationship. That situation can hurt more than the others because of the deep personal connection that gets severed. Neurologically speaking, an MRI indicates that there is very little difference between the emotional pain of rejection and the physical pain experienced through an injury. The agony of being rejected is [...]

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Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Self-Care Strategies for Reducing Anxiety

Joanna KuchereraFebruary 28th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When reducing anxiety, we need to employ a holistic approach. Diverse strategies are needed to target the physical, mental, and emotional side of our being. Everything is interconnected and when one area is not well, all areas suffer. This is the reason a well-rounded approach works best when tackling issues with stress and anxiety. Anxiety is the feelings you experience as a response to stress or a perceived threat. It can be characterized by excessive worry, sleepless nights, fatigue, irritability, and restlessness. We all experience anxiety from time to time; it is normal. However, when it becomes debilitating and interferes with your day-to-day functioning, you need to take note and take care of yourself. Below are some common self-care strategies you can use to reduce the effects of anxiety. Self-care strategies for reducing anxiety Boundaries. Part of taking care of yourself and reducing anxiety in your life is by having boundaries. Boundaries are simply ways in which you live that give you room to take on only what you have the capacity for and refusing to engage in what you do not have the strength to do. Stress and anxiety are reduced because you are not overwhelmed. It makes room and space for the things that build you up instead. It also avoids over-functioning in relationships. Discipline. A lot of stress and anxiety comes from not being able to manage time wisely and not being disciplined in doing what we are supposed to do. Having a disciplined life means you are not living a life of catching up, but rather managing tasks and responsibilities promptly. This reduces a significant amount of stress and anxiety, leaving you feeling capable, calm, and confident. Healthy diet. We rely on our body to be in good working order for us to thrive. Taking [...]

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Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Jennifer KooshianDecember 29th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One thing that every relationship needs to function is trust. A relationship can’t function if the people in it can’t rely on what they are saying to each other, or if they are constantly second-guessing and are suspicious of each other’s motives. Such a hostile environment makes for an uncomfortable relationship that lacks any mutual dependence, real intimacy, and growth, and is characterized by trust issues. One could say that trust is the soil that a relationship grows in, and if stripped of trust, a relationship will likely wither and perish in the long run. Identifying and addressing trust issues can help a relationship to thrive by creating room in the relationship to be vulnerable, to feel safe and secure enough to be intimate, to drop the walls and be yourself as well as minimize the conflict that so easily springs up due to distrust. What are trust issues? The term “trust issues” gets thrown around quite a bit and is often meant to indicate behaviors of distrust in relationships with others. It is most often used about intimate relationships. The term can be leveraged unfairly and end up masking what may be complex emotional challenges that are rooted in a person’s past experiences and the insecure attachment style that resulted from those experiences. Trusting someone is about being willing to depend on them, taking them at their word, and taking for granted that they are reliable. When a person has trust issues, they struggle to do these things with another person, whether it is a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague. Why do they develop between people? Trust issues develop in several ways. Some people struggle to trust others because of past experiences in their childhood. For instance, witnessing parental conflict or the betrayal of one parent [...]

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How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You As An Adult

How Adverse Childhood Experiences Affect You As An Adult

Jennifer KooshianNovember 29th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

None of us have any control over the situations we are born in. However, an auspicious beginning doesn’t necessarily mean a successful ending, and having challenges early on doesn’t mean things won’t turn out well. Adverse childhood experiences can have a significant impact on a child and continue to reverberate throughout their life. Healing and hope can be found, and the negative effects of these childhood experiences can be mitigated. What are “Adverse Childhood Experiences”? The term “Adverse Childhood Experiences” (ACEs) refers to a broad range of negative experiences that a child has or that they are exposed to while they are growing up. These stressful and traumatic experiences happen between the ages of 1 and 17 years, and some of these experiences include: Emotional or physical neglect. Emotional, physical, or sexual abuse. Witnessing domestic violence. Witnessing violence in one’s community. Having family members with serious mental health disorders. Parental separation or divorce. Having a parent or caregiver with a substance abuse disorder. Living in a household with an incarcerated family member. Having a family member attempt or die by suicide. These experiences affect a child’s sense of safety, and they can significantly disrupt their development. The unfortunate reality is that ACEs are common. Nearly 1 in 6 (17.3%) U.S. adults reported that they had experienced four or more types of ACEs, and around 64% reported they had experienced at least one type of ACE before they turned 18. By strengthening families, providing greater community access to resources such as those addressing homelessness, addiction, or maternity services, and by encouraging wider awareness about ACEs and their impact in childhood and into adulthood, they can be responded to much earlier and hopefully reduced as well. The impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences in adulthood. When a child experiences trauma or other [...]

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Questions and Quandaries: Triumph Over Trauma

Questions and Quandaries: Triumph Over Trauma

Kate MotaungNovember 21st, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Celebrations often come with gifts. They bring packages with brilliant colors and gleaming exteriors. Sometimes, the wrapping heightens the anticipation of what we discover inside. God wraps gifts, too. They come to us in various forms, though the packages don’t always seem to be what we would readily embrace as gift-worthy, such as trauma. We may not initially recognize it, but the trials we encounter in life are odd and unusual parcels. Considering the exterior, an uncomfortable and often unappealing nature of times marked by suffering, we don’t realize that what God is gifting outweighs the outward appearance of life’s conditions. Each challenge comes pre-packaged with treasure inside. We tend to discover the weight and worth of what’s through the process of unboxing. As we unpack these mystery packages, we encounter another facet of our Father. We may not always notice His Hand and His Heart through the events and circumstances, but when we pause to reflect, we can see how He has shown His kindness, favor, and protection. Even in the darkest moments, God is present. While we may acknowledge that He’s everywhere all at the same time, it helps to remember that He is with us specifically. He is near to the broken. That is what Christ does, binds and heals the fragments of minds and lives obliterated by the evil force behind our trauma. The Healer encounters us where trauma has wounded souls and scarred them with resentment and bitterness. Jesus doesn’t deny the presence of what was intended to steal our peace, kill our spark, and destroy our resolve; Instead, He asserts and reminds us what He came to do and the abundant life He brings to us in exchange. As we come to terms with the trauma that we experienced in the past, we [...]

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Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Kate MotaungSeptember 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People make promises as a way to indicate their seriousness about following through on their words with actions. Promises are a way to shore up trust, giving it a solid reference point. A person’s words matter whether they are expressed in the form of a promise or as a statement. We shape our lives based on people’s words, and so when words and actions don’t match (such as in cases of infidelity), it can cause profound disappointment and hurt. A romantic relationship carries certain expectations. Among these is the expectation of faithfulness, whether this was spoken or not. Increasingly, one has to make it explicit that the relationship is exclusive, otherwise the other person may assume that the relationship is open or polyamorous. Even with this sinful shift in our social mores, disappointment often ensues upon discovery that a relationship you’re invested in has been rocked by what you consider infidelity. How do you cope well when that happens to you? How infidelity affects you Infidelity is when an emotional, physical, or sexual boundary in the relationship is crossed. It’s when something that was meant to be exclusive is shared with a third party. When you entrust yourself and your life to someone else, a breach of trust can have profound effects on one’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Some of the ways infidelity can affect a person include: Dealing with infidelity can feel a lot like going through grief and loss. Infidelity can increase anxiety and depression, not to mention stress levels. One can experience PTSD-like symptoms after being cheated on. Trust issues. The deep betrayal of infidelity can cause mistrust of others for a long time afterward Shakes one’s self-confidence. One can internalize the infidelity and blame themselves, leading to lower self-esteem or self-worth. Affects loved ones. [...]

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How to Relieve Tension in a Strained Relationship

How to Relieve Tension in a Strained Relationship

Kate MotaungAugust 25th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Understandably, people get on each other’s nerves. Even in the best of relationships, things don’t always go well, and the parties need space away from each other. Whether in a marriage, between siblings, between friends, or even a work relationship, that relationship can become strained and stop feeling enjoyable. If you are in a strained relationship and need to relieve tension, help is available. Understanding relational strain When a relationship is strained, that means the relationship has so many problems that the people in it feel stressed and overwhelmed. Relationships can get strained for several reasons. Some of these may be internal to the relationship, while others originate outside the relationship. Some of the more common pressures that can strain a relationship include the following: Financial pressures It is good to be free from the love of money, as that can cause many problems that are best avoided (1 Timothy 6: 6-10). However, just about everything in life has a price tag attached. If a couple isn’t on the same page about how they make and use the money and resources the Lord places in their hands, it can be a source of conflict and strain in the relationship. Broken promises A relationship thrives on trust and requires the people in it to keep and be true to their word. Broken promises, infidelity, and unmet expectations can all feed the breakdown of trust and lead to a strained relationship. Poor communication Just as with trust, a relationship needs good communication like a fire needs oxygen. It’s good to be able to express yourself and to feel heard in a relationship. Without good communication, opportunities to love and serve one another are missed, and frustrations can multiply. Poor quality time and personal connection People in a relationship need to invest [...]

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