Overcoming Some Common Women’s Insecurities

Many women struggle with some level of doubts and insecurities about themselves. This may result from things people have said to them, whether it’s a friend or family member or just a colleague they are not even close to. It may even originate primarily in their minds as a result of assumptions they have made about what people around them may be thinking.

Particularly in our age of social media, it can be easy to compare yourself to others out there and feel like you don’t measure up. Insecurities can be slight, just a niggling doubt in the back of the mind, or they can be completely overwhelming and even debilitating, making it hard to face the daily challenges that come your way. Before you know it, you are filled with self-doubt and feeling like you fall short.

5 Common Insecurities Women Face

Some common insecurities that women struggle with include physical insecurities, relationship insecurities, social insecurities, intellectual insecurities, and spiritual insecurities.

1. Physical insecurities are those doubts you feel about the way that you look. Whether you believe some beauty standard from society or via social media, or you simply compare yourself to someone you know it can cause insecurity.

Once you have decided that something specific fits the definition of beauty, it can be easy to start comparing yourself to that and feeling like you fall short. When this happens, it can be hard to escape the feeling that you’re too fat, too thin, too short, too tall, or that somehow you’re not pretty enough.

2. Another major area of insecurities is relationships. In terms of a romantic relationship, a woman can question whether she is desirable as a partner and whether her partner might leave her for someone else. If this is a deeply rooted insecurity, even reassurance from a partner will only have a limited effect as she needs to deal with the root of those insecurities within herself.

If a woman feels she is inadequate as a partner, she will likely project those insecurities onto him. Another relationship that can be deeply affected by a woman’s insecurities is with her children.

She may feel like she is not a good enough mother and see every mistake as a huge failure. This may negatively affect her relationship with her children and possibly even instill some of those insecurities in her children as well.

3. Intellectual insecurities. If a woman experiences insecurities about her intellectual abilities, this may affect how well she does in her career. She may experience job insecurity as she fears her lack of knowledge will be exposed and may even cost her her job.

If she experiences this insecurity among her work colleagues, she may feel like she is unable to make a meaningful contribution to conversations and may fear being overlooked for a promotion. Impostor syndrome is a reality for many women in the professional realm.

4. Social insecurities can take the form of social anxiety, where one struggles with fears around social situations. These are more common among introverts, but a woman may experience insecurities about her ability to interact with crowds or her ability to interact with strangers in a social setting. This can cause her to hang back in social settings and fear stepping out of her comfort zone.

5. A woman may experience spiritual insecurities, causing her to feel doubts about God’s love for her. She may feel that she’s messed up too much and that God cannot possibly forgive her. Though the gospel invites her into a relationship with God, welcoming her as a daughter of God, she may feel unworthy and choose to isolate herself from God and others due to past or even present life choices.

Getting help

Many of these insecurities are rooted in unhelpful comparisons. This means that cultivating a healthy self-image and not giving room to comparisons with others will go a long way to eliminating these insecurities.

Focusing on what you have instead of those things that you think you lack can be a good first step. If you can change your perspective and begin to embrace your imperfections and the things that make you unique, you can develop a growing confidence instead of insecurity.

In terms of physical insecurities, we all benefit from focusing on inner qualities that will last longer than any external beauty. You can make healthy choices and focus on getting stronger and healthier instead of the pursuit of generic beauty, which is a subjective standard. You can also focus on the following:

Cultivate your relationship with God, seeking His approval before anyone else’s (Psalm 139; Matthew 25:23)

Tame your inner critic. Journaling can be a powerful tool. What you are saying to/about yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend or loved one? Through journaling, you can list positives about yourself, and dwell on what is true, pure, beautiful, and good (Philippians 4: 8-9).

Find positive influences, which include people who will speak life to you. You may need to unplug from social media.

Take control of the choices you make, including making healthy choices about what you eat, taking care of your body and mind, and following the Holy Spirit’s lead in cultivating virtues in your life (Galatians 5:13-26).

Reach out to others. Friends, family, your church community, or a professional counselor can help provide the support and encouragement you need. You don’t have to wrestle with your thoughts and feelings alone.

If your insecurities undermine your well-being and diminish your quality of life, reach out for the help you need. A professional counselor can help you understand the root of your insecurities and teach you how to discern and disrupt unhealthy patterns of thought and behavior. Reach out and find a Christian counselor who can begin walking with you toward wholeness and healing today.