Relationship Issues

Relationships can run the gamut from beautiful and fulfilling to traumatic and life-altering. It’s not always easy to know when to walk away from a relationship; perhaps this is just a bad season and good times are just around the corner. Or, given time and some elbow grease, things could turn around. These and many other thoughts could accompany the conviction to hang in there for another day or another year and put off the contemplation of divorce. The life and the story of any marriage is a unique one, and it can be difficult to walk others through the intricacies of each decision and action that has led you to the point of seeking a divorce. Ending a relationship, much less a marriage, is a step that ought to be undertaken thoughtfully; at least with as much thought as what you applied to enter the relationship to begin with. This article will attempt to highlight some considerations to make before stepping toward divorce. Implications and reasons for divorce There are many reasons why a person could decide to get divorced. Some of the main reasons why people get divorced include issues as diverse as infidelity, conflict over money, a lack of commitment, domestic violence and other forms of abuse, differences over roles and division of labor in the family, incompatible or conflicting parenting styles, lack of family support, emotional neglect, and religious and cultural differences, to name a few. These reasons may just be words on a page for some, but for the person who has lived through those conflicts, the emotional abandonment, or financial strain, they may be reminders of a dark and painful time that’s probably best forgotten. Whatever else it might be, the thought of getting a divorce might feel like getting a reprieve from [...]

Understandably, people get on each other’s nerves. Even in the best of relationships, things don’t always go well, and the parties need space away from each other. Whether in a marriage, between siblings, between friends, or even a work relationship, that relationship can become strained and stop feeling enjoyable. If you are in a strained relationship and need to relieve tension, help is available. Understanding relational strain When a relationship is strained, that means the relationship has so many problems that the people in it feel stressed and overwhelmed. Relationships can get strained for several reasons. Some of these may be internal to the relationship, while others originate outside the relationship. Some of the more common pressures that can strain a relationship include the following: Financial pressures It is good to be free from the love of money, as that can cause many problems that are best avoided (1 Timothy 6: 6-10). However, just about everything in life has a price tag attached. If a couple isn’t on the same page about how they make and use the money and resources the Lord places in their hands, it can be a source of conflict and strain in the relationship. Broken promises A relationship thrives on trust and requires the people in it to keep and be true to their word. Broken promises, infidelity, and unmet expectations can all feed the breakdown of trust and lead to a strained relationship. Poor communication Just as with trust, a relationship needs good communication like a fire needs oxygen. It’s good to be able to express yourself and to feel heard in a relationship. Without good communication, opportunities to love and serve one another are missed, and frustrations can multiply. Poor quality time and personal connection People in a relationship need to invest [...]

As social and relational beings, we thrive when our relationships are deep, meaningful, and connected. You can have money, property, fame, and beauty, but if you have poor relationships with others, that’s a void that can’t be filled and it will be deeply felt. While God has designed us to be relational, part of the tragedy of the human condition is that we live in a world that’s broken, and that brokenness extends to our relationships, preventing secure attachment. Secure attachment: What is it? We learn how best to relate to others when we are young. That’s when we form our emotional and mental maps of the world. When children’s needs are met consistently and their expressions of emotion are welcomed and met with understanding, comfort, and support, all this helps them feel secure. They can be vulnerable and safe, which allows them to express themselves and know that they are loved. This is what is called secure attachment. When people are securely attached, they have healthy self-understanding, the ability to express their emotions and needs, and a willingness to trust. Because their needs were met consistently and meaningfully, they can relate to others in a healthy way that’s free from anxiety or fear. Ideally, everyone should have a home environment in which they are loved, given room for self-expression, and their needs met. We long to experience the joy of being loved and of loving others, and our hearts ache when this basic desire is not met. The people that are closest to us – our families, friends, and such – don’t always show up in the best way possible. This can occur when issues of alcohol abuse and domestic violence are present or you experience neglect and abandonment, whether physically or emotionally. When a person’s needs aren’t [...]