Relationship Issues Archives | Grapevine Christian Counseling

5 Warning Signs of Codependency

5 Warning Signs of Codependency

Cyndi Kay GreenApril 3rd, 2025|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency is a term that is used to describe a pattern of behavior connected to a dysfunctional relationship. Most of the time, signs of codependency include a person relying on another person to maintain emotional well-being. The idea of a couple who have the mindset that they cannot fathom life without each other is a romanticized plot in a movie, but it is also the description of a relationship riddled with signs of codependency. An imbalanced exchange of emotional and mental support typically characterizes these relationships. One person feels a sense of responsibility for the other person being happy and safe. This means that the other person is often an enabler for the one that is codependent. The most common dynamic is one in which the codependent person has a narcissistic behavior pattern. We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. - Romans 15:1, NIV 5 Common Warning Signs of Codependency in a Relationship Enabling Behaviors In a codependent relationship, the enabler will allow the codependent to engage in dysfunctional behaviors. This can be portrayed by giving money, making excuses, and tolerating being mistreated. Extreme Caretaking Habits It is common for the codependent to feel as though they need to take care of the other person by fixing all the problems. This is an unhealthy level of responsibility that often takes away from the needs of the codependent. Controlling Behaviors Behaviors that are seemingly controlling are often a warning sign that the relationship may be one of codependency. This behavior is often coupled with a lack of trust. Because of a fear of being abandoned, the codependent will desire a need for control in the relationship. This makes them feel as though they are in control of deflecting any [...]

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Step-Family Challenges and How to Manage Them

Step-Family Challenges and How to Manage Them

Cyndi Kay GreenMarch 7th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

In recent years society has moved away from the term step-family and has started using blended family to describe the dynamics of a family created by spouses who have children from a previous relationship/marriage. Step-family challenges come from creating a family from two pre-existing families. The kids involved can be overwhelmed with conflicting emotions while parents try to navigate the new dynamics in the home. This blending of a stepfamily takes patience and effort. It can be painful to build new relationships because there are so many new interactions that must be navigated. But it can also be a beautiful thing when the parents choose to keep God in the midst. Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. – Psalm 127:3, NIV Step-family Challenges and Managing Them Well Building a healthy family is challenging without the dynamic of being a step-family. When the addition of other family members gets thrown into the mix, there are complex situations that must be navigated to create a healthy family with healthy bonds. Creating a healthy and well-balanced home is attainable when the family, especially the parents, is intentional with untangling the fine threads of emotions, expectations, and experiences. New family roles As a couple with children comes together there will be new roles that will be established. Children and parents will each be subjected to a different dynamic when it comes to what their role in this new family becomes. Managing the challenge: The boundaries of these roles are important and should be respected. Parents must remember to be gentle in developing new relationships with their stepchildren. Different cultures Each family comes with its own culture and traditions. These differences can create tension if it seems as though only one set of cultures is being incorporated into [...]

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Being Single and Maintaining Integrity in Today’s Society

Being Single and Maintaining Integrity in Today’s Society

Melissa PlantzJanuary 28th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

It seems like it is becoming harder to maintain integrity in today’s society. Social platforms and other media expose us to images and behaviors rapidly becoming the norm that goes against Godly living. So how do you continue to be a Christian while being single today, especially in the dating world? Being Single in the 21st Century More and more people are choosing to remain single longer as they focus on their education and pursue careers. But unfortunately, many also engage in long-term monogamous relationships instead of marriage. In some of these cases, people have felt pressured to conform to society’s norms. For example, a woman dreams of having a large wedding wearing a beautiful glittering gown and marrying the love of her life, giving him her virginity on her wedding night. But as the woman graduates high school and university and begins her career, she feels pressured to date more. Next, her friends tease her for not taking the next step with her boyfriend. She becomes confused and rationalizes her feelings for her boyfriend, eventually having sex with him. They maintain this relationship for a year before they break up. The woman meets someone new months later, and the cycle starts again. This is a common scenario because society no longer encourages marriage as the step before sex. Instead, it has become commonplace to have premarital sex and to move in with someone to gauge capability. But there was a reason God encouraged people to marry first; to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and to maintain morality. You do not have to devalue your integrity. Instead, you can face temptations and stand up to people. To do this you will need to be strong in your faith and stay deep in God’s word and prayer. The following is a [...]

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The Negative Effects of Consumerism on Our Mental Health

The Negative Effects of Consumerism on Our Mental Health

Jennifer KooshianDecember 26th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

The story of our lives can be told by the various objects around us that we treasure. This isn’t all there is to us, to be sure, but it can say plenty about us. We have cherished books, furniture inherited from a beloved relative, sneakers or shoes that have their own shelves in a closet, pictures in frames that tell of treasured memories with loved ones, trinkets that are prominently displayed on the mantlepiece, and so much more. The things we own and treasure say a lot about us, but they can never tell the full story. Nor should they. Carl R. Trueman notes that when we become over-attached to our material goods and possessions to the point that our sense of meaning or worth is determined by them, we are caught up in consumerism. Consumerism can affect us in many ways, including our mental and emotional health. Living in a Consumer Society Our society is the most affluent in human history. That affluence may not be evenly distributed, but we’re living in a country where we can acquire goods and services cheaply, and things can be easily discarded, and new things obtained. Each year, there is a new iteration of some gadget or product, and the incessant message is that the new one is better, and you’re missing out if you still have the older version. Upgrade now! It’s made easy to simply “upgrade” to the new thing; incentives are offered, whether it’s trade-ins or some discount offered to draw you in. If it’s not that, with things like fast fashion, you can get items that are cheaply made and don’t cost much to buy. It’s easy to lean into the “buy two and get the third one free”, because why not? And because it’s [...]

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Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Making Sense of Christian Divorce and Finding Support

Jennifer KooshianAugust 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Relationships can run the gamut from beautiful and fulfilling to traumatic and life-altering. It’s not always easy to know when to walk away from a relationship; perhaps this is just a bad season and good times are just around the corner. Or, given time and some elbow grease, things could turn around. These and many other thoughts could accompany the conviction to hang in there for another day or another year and put off the contemplation of divorce. The life and the story of any marriage is a unique one, and it can be difficult to walk others through the intricacies of each decision and action that has led you to the point of seeking a divorce. Ending a relationship, much less a marriage, is a step that ought to be undertaken thoughtfully; at least with as much thought as what you applied to enter the relationship to begin with. This article will attempt to highlight some considerations to make before stepping toward divorce. Implications and reasons for divorce There are many reasons why a person could decide to get divorced. Some of the main reasons why people get divorced include issues as diverse as infidelity, conflict over money, a lack of commitment, domestic violence and other forms of abuse, differences over roles and division of labor in the family, incompatible or conflicting parenting styles, lack of family support, emotional neglect, and religious and cultural differences, to name a few. These reasons may just be words on a page for some, but for the person who has lived through those conflicts, the emotional abandonment, or financial strain, they may be reminders of a dark and painful time that’s probably best forgotten. Whatever else it might be, the thought of getting a divorce might feel like getting a reprieve from [...]

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Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Bible Verses About Forgiveness: Finding Freedom from Vengeance

Kate MotaungApril 22nd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Looking for Bible verses about forgiveness? Here are several Scriptures about forgiving others and being forgiven. If you’re going by what makes the headlines, the world doesn’t seem like a fair place. Those who hurt others, take advantage of them, and who work the system seem to get away with it. This happens in society at large, but it also happens in our relationships. Colleagues take advantage of generosity, and loved ones, neighbors, and strangers can seem to have no compunction about abusing one’s kindness. Forgiveness gives way to revenge. The above is a jaundiced view of society, but it can sometimes feel like you’re playing by the rules while others aren’t. But even in those situations where you feel like you’re a righteous sufferer, God’s call to His people is for them to be marked by forgiveness for even those they consider enemies (Matthew 5:44; Luke 6:27-28). Forgiveness releases you from the desire for vengeance, and it frees you of bitterness toward others. Not only that, but forgiveness is one of many ways we can begin imitating God, who has forgiven us much. For the disciple of Jesus, forgiveness is a way of life. Bible verses about forgiveness. Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. – Psalm 32:1-2, NIV The Psalms are a prayer and songbook, and here David was rejoicing in the blessings of being forgiven. When God forgives us, He lifts the burden of our failures off our shoulders and takes it upon His own. The role we play is to allow Him to relieve us of the burden, and to trust that He does not hold anything against us. When [...]

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8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

8 Tips for Dealing With Rejection Well

Jennifer KooshianApril 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

Listen to this article There are few things as precious as having a deep sense of connection to other people. Feeling like you belong, like you are valuable and wanted, is a deep need that people have, as we are such social creatures. That’s why it hurts so much when disconnection happens – it isolates you from others and it can make you question your self-worth as well as ask questions about why the disconnect occurred. One of the ways the sense of disconnection between people can happen is when rejection occurs. Rejection happens for many different reasons, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways of dealing with it. Dealing with rejection well will help you make the most of your life as it is, and it allows you to grow and learn as you move toward your goals. Rejection in all its facets Rejection can occur in a wide variety of situations. You might experience a sense of rejection if you apply for a job and don’t get it. The same can happen if you put in for a promotion at your current workplace and someone else gets it. When you apply to a college for a spot, or you try out for a team, or you ask someone out and they say “no” – these are just some of the ways rejection happens. Rejection also happens when you’re in a committed relationship with someone, and for one reason or another, they decide to end the relationship. That situation can hurt more than the others because of the deep personal connection that gets severed. Neurologically speaking, an MRI indicates that there is very little difference between the emotional pain of rejection and the physical pain experienced through an injury. The agony of being rejected is [...]

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Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Signs of Trust Issues in a Relationship

Jennifer KooshianDecember 29th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One thing that every relationship needs to function is trust. A relationship can’t function if the people in it can’t rely on what they are saying to each other, or if they are constantly second-guessing and are suspicious of each other’s motives. Such a hostile environment makes for an uncomfortable relationship that lacks any mutual dependence, real intimacy, and growth, and is characterized by trust issues. One could say that trust is the soil that a relationship grows in, and if stripped of trust, a relationship will likely wither and perish in the long run. Identifying and addressing trust issues can help a relationship to thrive by creating room in the relationship to be vulnerable, to feel safe and secure enough to be intimate, to drop the walls and be yourself as well as minimize the conflict that so easily springs up due to distrust. What are trust issues? The term “trust issues” gets thrown around quite a bit and is often meant to indicate behaviors of distrust in relationships with others. It is most often used about intimate relationships. The term can be leveraged unfairly and end up masking what may be complex emotional challenges that are rooted in a person’s past experiences and the insecure attachment style that resulted from those experiences. Trusting someone is about being willing to depend on them, taking them at their word, and taking for granted that they are reliable. When a person has trust issues, they struggle to do these things with another person, whether it is a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague. Why do they develop between people? Trust issues develop in several ways. Some people struggle to trust others because of past experiences in their childhood. For instance, witnessing parental conflict or the betrayal of one parent [...]

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Tips for Making Family Counseling Successful

Tips for Making Family Counseling Successful

Kate MotaungOctober 23rd, 2023|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Family counseling is a great way to work through issues that affect the family unit. It can also help you grow closer together and teach strategies that help family members live together with less conflict and issues. While the benefits are good, it can be hard to know how to make family counseling work. With multiple people of varying ages involved, family counseling can feel tricky. Successful family counseling involves many factors including active participation, open communication, and a willingness to work together as a family unit. Tips for a Successful Family Counseling Experience To help you make the most of your family counseling experience, consider these tips: Be committed. Consider who is participating in counseling. For the best outcome, everyone in the family should be committed to the entire counseling process. It is important to attend sessions consistently and be actively engaged in the sessions. Communicate openly. Counseling offers an opportunity for everyone to be open and honest with one another. Family members must be comfortable enough to share their thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly. The way people listen and respond will encourage other family members to do the same. Listen actively. Show others that you are listening when they speak. Family members can do this by not interrupting, having open body language, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. As you show empathy and understanding when others are speaking, even if you disagree, you will foster the trusting environment needed for success. Be respectful. When talking about sensitive issues, it is especially important to treat each other with respect and avoid blaming or criticizing. Instead of generalizing or making accusations, focus on the issues and behaviors. This prevents personal attacks. Participate. Everyone in the family should have the opportunity to participate equally. Every person’s perspective is an [...]

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Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Tips for Coping with Infidelity

Kate MotaungSeptember 25th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

People make promises as a way to indicate their seriousness about following through on their words with actions. Promises are a way to shore up trust, giving it a solid reference point. A person’s words matter whether they are expressed in the form of a promise or as a statement. We shape our lives based on people’s words, and so when words and actions don’t match (such as in cases of infidelity), it can cause profound disappointment and hurt. A romantic relationship carries certain expectations. Among these is the expectation of faithfulness, whether this was spoken or not. Increasingly, one has to make it explicit that the relationship is exclusive, otherwise the other person may assume that the relationship is open or polyamorous. Even with this sinful shift in our social mores, disappointment often ensues upon discovery that a relationship you’re invested in has been rocked by what you consider infidelity. How do you cope well when that happens to you? How infidelity affects you Infidelity is when an emotional, physical, or sexual boundary in the relationship is crossed. It’s when something that was meant to be exclusive is shared with a third party. When you entrust yourself and your life to someone else, a breach of trust can have profound effects on one’s emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Some of the ways infidelity can affect a person include: Dealing with infidelity can feel a lot like going through grief and loss. Infidelity can increase anxiety and depression, not to mention stress levels. One can experience PTSD-like symptoms after being cheated on. Trust issues. The deep betrayal of infidelity can cause mistrust of others for a long time afterward Shakes one’s self-confidence. One can internalize the infidelity and blame themselves, leading to lower self-esteem or self-worth. Affects loved ones. [...]

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