Premarital counseling can be a hot topic among couples if they don’t see eye to eye on its purpose. In essence, premarital counseling is couples therapy that’s designed to help couples communicate effectively and identify any points of conflict that may impact the health and longevity of their marriage.

At Grapevine Christian Counseling in Texas, we are committed to helping you and your partner build a strong foundation on which to build your marriage relationship.

Get connected with a Christian Counselor
Please contact our reception team at
(469) 333-6163

Schedule with Vanessa

Dr. Vanessa Gross, MD, MA, AMFT

Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

If you’re feeling stuck in a rut or unable to break free from your current symptoms or circumstances, I would be honored to work with you. With God’s help through Christian counseling, it’s possible to experience freedom, growth, and healing. I offer a variety of therapeutic approaches from a faith-based perspective and will customize your treatment plan based on your individual needs. I will listen attentively to your story and work with you to determine the best course of action moving forward so you can experience joy and peace again, with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Why Is Premarital Counseling Important?

Research suggests that 50% of married couples divorce. Of those marriages that fail, many have dissolved by the six-year mark. Unfortunately, this reveals that couples are significantly unprepared for how to handle conflict in the early years of marriage.

That’s why premarital counseling in Grapevine, Texas is crucial. It prepares couples to identify differing viewpoints that could cause repeated tension if not dealt with early on in marriage. Some of the opposing viewpoints may be related to financial matters, raising a family, religious backgrounds and/or spiritual beliefs, and partnership roles within a marriage.

To discover what you believe about these, your licensed Christian counselor in Grapevine, Texas can ask questions that help you recognize where you stand on certain topics and where your fiancé stands on those same topics.

Another benefit of premarital counseling in Grapevine, Texas is that it gives each partner a shared language to be able to discuss conflict healthily as they progress through marriage difficulties. For example, learning how to respectfully repeat what your partner said can be an effective listening tool to show that what one spouse heard is what the partner said.

It also shows that you honor your spouse enough to listen carefully and not just try to rush to your own opinion or to make a point.

There are a few different kinds of premarital counseling, so finding the one that works well for you and your partner is important. Don’t be afraid to seek out a different counselor if you find that one isn’t a great match for both you and your fiancé.

1) The Gottman Method

This type of counseling focuses on viewing your partner as a friend, learning how to manage conflict, and valuing the other person so that behaviors such as criticism and defensiveness diminish.

2) Emotionally Focused Therapy

EFT is a type of premarital couples counseling that builds upon healthy adult-to-adult attachment theory. It is usually a shorter format that is focused on helping you and your partner build unity and learn how to cope with intense emotions that can arise during times of stress, change, or conflict.

3) Psychodynamic Couples Therapy.

This type of premarital counseling allows couples to explore their motivations, with a trained counselor, for patterns that tend to cycle through their relationship. These pattern cycles may be grounded in preconceived beliefs, such as fear of abandonment, jealousy, or feelings of disapproval. Walking through these together prepares each partner to understand they are on the same team, supporting each other through the ups and downs of marriage.

First, you and your partner will likely be able to share your relationship history, how you met, and possibly even how you each grew up. Second, your counselor may ask you to complete a written assessment, either together or individually. There are no “right” or “wrong” answers to this assessment. It’s just a tool that helps the counselor understand where problems may arise in your relationship.

Third, your premarital counselor in Grapevine, Texas may spend some of your sessions walking you through different areas where conflict can easily pop up. These areas might include money management, communication preferences, family of origin, social and spiritual background, life goals, career, children, and roles and responsibilities.

Because a counselor will ask you and your partner questions to help you reflect on your relationship, it will help you and your fiancé recognize the areas where you can improve by learning effective listening skills, appropriate vs. inappropriate expectations, and communication differences that may have stemmed from having very different childhoods.

One study shows that 30% of couples who seek premarital counseling are more likely to seek counseling later in marriage, before the areas of conflict escalate to being very serious. This is a helpful step to make the idea of counseling familiar to both you and your partner, and it can diffuse some of the resistance to seeing a counselor or psychologist later.

If you and your fiancé are interested in premarital counseling, Grapevine Christian Counseling in Texas can help. Reach out today so we can place you with a counselor to start your journey of marriage well.

Get connected with a Christian Counselor
Please contact our reception team at
(469) 333-6163

Schedule with Vanessa

Dr. Vanessa Gross, MD, MA, AMFT

Associate Marriage and Family Therapist

If you’re feeling stuck in a rut or unable to break free from your current symptoms or circumstances, I would be honored to work with you. With God’s help through Christian counseling, it’s possible to experience freedom, growth, and healing. I offer a variety of therapeutic approaches from a faith-based perspective and will customize your treatment plan based on your individual needs. I will listen attentively to your story and work with you to determine the best course of action moving forward so you can experience joy and peace again, with the help of the Holy Spirit.